ANTM is back, baby! And apparently, this season's 2 hour premiere started off with this stupid dumb crappy futuristic theme. And! I cannot believe that the show's in LA!!! What the hell happened to going back to New York??? I thought her stupid talk show was located in NY?
Tyra Banks in her Victoria Beckham impersonation.
As I mentioned earlier, the whole auditions was talking about how ANTM has reached 11 cycles and so "a new decade" begins, thus giving the whole futuristic aspect. Also, the fugliness is also implemented in the episode to mark a new beginning. For example:
It's nice that Ms J has stolen Saleisha's wig and bleached it. One of the girls talked about how the Jays have perfect skin and perfect hair. Who are they kidding?
You know how in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Willy Wonka went to India because some rich Indian guy wanted to build a chocolate Taj Mahal. Well, I think one of the Oompa Loompas got knocked up there by Shahruk Khan and gave birth to Jay.
And this...
Are they freaking serious? I feel like I'm watching Power Rangers or something! And the fact that they asked the girls to be all confused is so hillarious! And just look at Jay at the first shot. Just, wow.
You know the J's have reached like, the world record of gayness.
Other than that, Paulina is awesome. When they had a one-on-one with the judges, Sharaun was like, "Hi, Paulina, I'm America's Next Top Model." And Paulina's response was "Oh really?
Anyway, let's talk about the girls...
So here's the transexual, Isis. Actually she sounds manlier than Capote. Obviously she's just Tyra's ploy to gain more viewers. What bugged me was her fetish for large dangly earrings.
Seriously, take them off!
And the revelation wasn't so dramatic. I was hoping that people would be kneeling on the floor crying their eyes out.
That is such a stupid question. It's not like her answer would be "Well, my penis isn't female."
I bet you wanna see if there's a bulge, right?
Her photo is surprisingly good.
I LOVE Marjorie! I take back my words about how she looks like she should be Charlie Chaplin's girlfriend. She is love! But she totally is nervous and has low self-esteem, kinda like Shandi.
Elina! She has such nice eyes.
...but she looks a bit fat. She claims that she always wears black because it's not gender specific. And immediately Tyra asks her, "You's a lesbinan?" But she implies that she's bisexual. And she interviews that she has a crush on Clark, but I don't blame her because Clark is really pretty on the outside.
Yeahhhh....
And she looks like Marcia Cross!
I also love Brittany!
McKey is supposed to be this cage fighter. Her hair is like, weird. I dunno, it's like really thick. And doesn't she look like that pregnant lady from Project Runway?
Analeigh is OK. Her photo's actually good but the judges somehow lambasted her.
I kind of like Sheena, but she looks a little old and slutty. But she's actually nice and has a black girl accent. It's so weird. But it's nice that she knows that she's Asian. She referred herself as "yellow fever". Yeahh...
When I first saw Clark, I was like, WOW! She's georgeous! And then she opened her mouth and we discover that she's actually an incarnate of Hitler. Seriously, she hates Isis and wants to "stomp the man out of the competition" and how she would get shot in her hometown. Then she bitched about how McKey was doing her boxing/fighting training on the porch and how it's supposed to be a modelling competition. Seriously, she's the worst.
Hannah totally looks like Miley Cyrus, which is coincidental. In every sentence, she would talk about how she's from Alaska and she grew up in a house with no electricity and water and heating. She was also uncomfortable with Isis, but it's fine because I'm sure she thought trannies were just an urban legend.
Joslyn is like Stacey-Ann's sister. She has this weird nasal high-pitched voice like that prostitute from Mighty Aphrodite. Even though she looks old, her photo is actually not bad.
I seriously thought she was going home because she was featured heavily in the second hour. I like her.
Lauren Brie is totally getting the "no personality" edit. Also, her forehead is humungous!
Hey! someone stole Ms J's wig and dyed it brown! She looks like a fuglier skinnier version of Saleisha. I know, who knew it was possible. But she's kind of like Furonda. Ugly on the outside. Crazy in the inside! I love to hate her! Seriously, I hope she stays long to entertain me.
Seriously, she is awesome. She actually wears those temporary silicon boob enhancers thingies.
Sharaun is stank.
And that's why she was eliminated. Yay!
So 13 girls remain! Please kick of Clark!
Tyra Banks in her Victoria Beckham impersonation.
It's nice that Ms J has stolen Saleisha's wig and bleached it. One of the girls talked about how the Jays have perfect skin and perfect hair. Who are they kidding?
You know how in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Willy Wonka went to India because some rich Indian guy wanted to build a chocolate Taj Mahal. Well, I think one of the Oompa Loompas got knocked up there by Shahruk Khan and gave birth to Jay.
Are they freaking serious? I feel like I'm watching Power Rangers or something! And the fact that they asked the girls to be all confused is so hillarious! And just look at Jay at the first shot. Just, wow.
Other than that, Paulina is awesome. When they had a one-on-one with the judges, Sharaun was like, "Hi, Paulina, I'm America's Next Top Model." And Paulina's response was "Oh really?
So here's the transexual, Isis. Actually she sounds manlier than Capote. Obviously she's just Tyra's ploy to gain more viewers. What bugged me was her fetish for large dangly earrings.
Seriously, take them off!
That is such a stupid question. It's not like her answer would be "Well, my penis isn't female."
I bet you wanna see if there's a bulge, right?
Her photo is surprisingly good.
I LOVE Marjorie! I take back my words about how she looks like she should be Charlie Chaplin's girlfriend. She is love! But she totally is nervous and has low self-esteem, kinda like Shandi.
Elina! She has such nice eyes.
...but she looks a bit fat. She claims that she always wears black because it's not gender specific. And immediately Tyra asks her, "You's a lesbinan?" But she implies that she's bisexual. And she interviews that she has a crush on Clark, but I don't blame her because Clark is really pretty on the outside.
Yeahhhh....
And she looks like Marcia Cross!
I also love Brittany!
McKey is supposed to be this cage fighter. Her hair is like, weird. I dunno, it's like really thick. And doesn't she look like that pregnant lady from Project Runway?
Analeigh is OK. Her photo's actually good but the judges somehow lambasted her.
I kind of like Sheena, but she looks a little old and slutty. But she's actually nice and has a black girl accent. It's so weird. But it's nice that she knows that she's Asian. She referred herself as "yellow fever". Yeahh...
When I first saw Clark, I was like, WOW! She's georgeous! And then she opened her mouth and we discover that she's actually an incarnate of Hitler. Seriously, she hates Isis and wants to "stomp the man out of the competition" and how she would get shot in her hometown. Then she bitched about how McKey was doing her boxing/fighting training on the porch and how it's supposed to be a modelling competition. Seriously, she's the worst.
Hannah totally looks like Miley Cyrus, which is coincidental. In every sentence, she would talk about how she's from Alaska and she grew up in a house with no electricity and water and heating. She was also uncomfortable with Isis, but it's fine because I'm sure she thought trannies were just an urban legend.
Joslyn is like Stacey-Ann's sister. She has this weird nasal high-pitched voice like that prostitute from Mighty Aphrodite. Even though she looks old, her photo is actually not bad.
I seriously thought she was going home because she was featured heavily in the second hour. I like her.
Lauren Brie is totally getting the "no personality" edit. Also, her forehead is humungous!
Hey! someone stole Ms J's wig and dyed it brown! She looks like a fuglier skinnier version of Saleisha. I know, who knew it was possible. But she's kind of like Furonda. Ugly on the outside. Crazy in the inside! I love to hate her! Seriously, I hope she stays long to entertain me.
Seriously, she is awesome. She actually wears those temporary silicon boob enhancers thingies.
Sharaun is stank.
And that's why she was eliminated. Yay!
So 13 girls remain! Please kick of Clark!