ANTM Recap: Fake Boobies = Fierce!

New episode of ANTM!! Yay!! First of all, let me congratulate the editors, because usually an episode practically shows the bottom two extensively, but lately this season, I was kind of thrown off to who will land in bottom two. So yay! And also, LOVED the ending of this episode, even though it was practically heartbreaking to see her go.

OMG I didn't realise that Isis looks a bit like Amy Winehouse. Speaking of people who are of no use in the world...

When will he ever die?

So anyway, back at home, the girls play truth or dare in the hottub, and apparently, Elina was dared (or maybe dared herself) to kiss Clark, her long-time crush.

Elina claims that she felt fireworks and that Clark has soft lips. Well, that's because instead of collagen, its filled with evil boiling pus. You can do better, Elina.

Hannah looks on, because there was no such thing as lesbian moose in Alaska. Seriously, she is now starting to look a lot like Miley Cyrus, and not surprisingly, I'm kind of hating her because she was talking about how she would never hang out with people like Elina and Isis because of the way they were. She even pushed Isis in the hottub, which was kind of uncalled for. And then she explained to some of the girls that she's a stereotypical white girl and doesn't go crazy, which pisses of some of the black girls and the black-acting girls (i.e. Sheena)

And so when Joslyn asks Hannah if she's prejudiced/racist/discrimanatory, Hannah gets all freaked out and offended as to why they would assume that.

And so Hannah compares the 'ambush' to gang rape. I mean, grow up! I'm sorry, last episode she mentioned that her favourite show is Gossip Girl. I don't watch it, but... I mean, I'm sure there's at least a sex scene right? Or at the very least a kiss. Sheesh! But I also blame the other party for assuming that she's racist. I think Hannah is just a bit dumb. I mean, there're no black people in Alaska right?

So this week, the judges raved over Lauren Brie's photo, which I find good, but then Tyra christened it as the Top 5 photos in ANTM history. Like, WHAT?!!!! I can think of 5 SO MUCH BETTER photos on top of my head that are better. Like Shandi's afro photo and Yaya's spider photo and Jenah's tree photo and Anya's paparazzi photo and Amanda C3's roller skating photo. Hers looks like her face is melting or something.

And she's so... blah. I think for makeovers they should darken her hair.

Is that a tic or something?

On the contrary...

Elina's photo is freaking awesome! I now forgive her for kissing a monster.

Anyway, this episode I lost my love for Sheena. At first I was amazed by her black-girl accent, but then when she was talking to Hannah, she didn't have an accent at all, which makes me wonder if it's just for show. I mean, she's like that British lady from 30 Rock!

So Sheena thinks that when posing with accessories, they need to be placed correctly, like feng-shui. Apparently, she's been reading the Kama Sutra instead of Feng-Shui For Dummies.

Sheena also claims that she's not hoochie and doesn't understand why people call her that. I'm sorry, she totally knows that she's hoochie. She was giving lapdances at the hottub. And the most bizarre thing happened during judging...

"Are your boobs fake?"

"Haha, no!"

[and then right before Tyra dismisses them...]

"I need to say something!"

"I need to get this out of my chest! Haha, they're fake!"

PS: I love how Paulina can say so much without even saying a word. Now, that's a model!

"So they're not real?"

"No! It was a foolish decision I made at a young age!"

"Wait... I already knew that they're fake. But I'd just like to commend you for telling the truth."

And then Tyra applauds Sheena for lying, then telling the truth because she knows that Tyra knows, probably because she had to declare her silicone during castings, just like how Isis had to declare her package. Seriously, I lost all my love for Sheena. And I might actually think she's gonna win, because last year's winner was a fatty, so this year goes to the Asian. But the most amazing thing was Paulina making fun of Sheena's indesisiveness during deliberation.

But you know who I really really love?

This girl! Nikeysha! Heyyyyyyy! She is totally Furonda 2.0.

I think she's a vampire, and that is why she can never see her reflection. Poor soul.

And so she was placed in the bottom two with Isis. I was like, freaking out because they were gonna kick out the most awesome thing that was gonna boost the ratings!! Can you believe that between the two, Nikeysha's the one with the vagina?

And so Nikeysha was booted! I was sad. Nikeysha announced that she's gonna become an anesthesiologist...

And then Tyra bitchslaps her for her lack of passion in modelling. Which, come on Tyra. Look at her. She's hideous!

Then Nikeysha says that she's only joking. I mean, sheesh! That's the problem with Tyra. She thinks that this girls should only be models.

Honestly, bitch needs to eat. It looks like as if wings are going to protrude out of her back.

So Nikeysha's sad because she wanted to at least go overseas. She should be sad over the fact that she didn't make it past makeovers. Goodbye Nikeysha. I hope you start your own talk show.

I've always been in love with you
I guess you've always known it's true
You took my love for granted, why oh why
The show is over say goodbye
Take a bow

And thus, she fades into the background. 12 girls remain! Makeovers next week! And something drastic happens to Elina. I hope they don't shave her head bald.

The most awesome part of the show was that Nikeysha was talking about how she knows that she shouldn't talk a lot and she was blabbering through the collage fade-out and even during the credits!!!

But seriously, I cannot believe that they can keep hideous un-fun people with mediocre pictures like Dominique and Saleisha and Bianca, but they kicked out Nikeysha. I mean, she actually had good pictures. Urgh!