Soooo........
[Tyra Voice]: Previously on America's Next Top Model, Dominique was an ass, is still an ass, and will always be an ass. An overseas trip was imminent and Fatima ran around the country to produce her travel documents, and missed the photoshoot. Both her and Stacey-Ann landed in the Bottom 2, and apparently, being a refugee is an advantage and thus, Stacey-Ann was axed, along with her kiddy voice. WHO will be eliminated, tonight?
So they started the episode off immediately with them traveling to Rome. Firstly, Anya rocks. Like, seriously! She actually fell when she was alighting the van and she just laughed it off. Aww.
Fatima's body hurts, so she wants to rest. Well, that seems fine right?
Apparently, Dominique doesn't see a top model in Fatima. She thinks that Fatima's not strong enough for the competition. It's like pot calling the stainless-steel kettle black.
Meanwhile, Anya actually thinks that she's jet lagged and just hates how the other girls just bitch. Yay, Anya!
Reason #258 on why Anya rocks: She helps the malnourished.
This is the Tyra Mail. Like, Tyra actually decided that it would be a good idea to superimpose her face onto, like the most famous face in the world. Watch out for next week where she superimposes herself into Jesus and all the Apostles in The Last Supper, leaving Naomi Campbell in the face of Judas. Ok, that was random, I hope my facts are correct.
The Tyra Mail read: Be careful of how you roll. And Anya thinks it has something to do with the river.
And Dominique (in her natural make-up free state) questions, "Roll?"
Anya wins the challenge, again! Yay!
I love how Anya takes the time to wake people up! Yay!
Why the hell is Fatima purple? Is she like, half-Somalian, half-Ribena?So they had a CoverGirl commercial. This time they had to speak Italian. The problem with it is that I don't think that the girls understand what they're saying, so when they show the real dialogue, it turned out to be pretty stupid.
Fatima's commercial was supposed to be the best but she didn't even look at the freaking camera! Well, except for the last part.
Of course, Tyra pokes fun at Fatima, which gives her an excuse to touch her boobs. You know, because she's such an inspiration.
Dominique was literally a tranny mess. And I don't mean it in a "haha" Christian kind of way. Her commercial sucked! It was worse than Jade's CoverGirl commercial! She didn't speak Italian, she said "BRAZILIA!" which was totally out of context, she sounded fake-ass. And she looks like she's ready to go to a funeral, as a corpse. But for some reason, the judges loved it because she had fun in the commercial. Urgh! Fucking Dominique!!This thing has a one in 5 chance of becoming America's Next Top Model. The name on everybody's lips is gonna be DOMINIQUE!!
Seriously, she looks like she's constipated.
Whitney's starting to kind of annoy me. We get it, you're fat. It's hard to be fat in the modelling industry.
Anya was kind of meh in the commercials, and then they talked about her accent. So what if she doesn't have a normal accent! Aren't models supposed to be weird and stuff?
Speaking of weird, Lauren was so freaking awkward in the commercials. She's like Aileen Wuornos playing Charlize Theron. But then I kind of grew tired of her. She keeps on talking about how she's a rock/punk girl and loves wearing leather jackets. Ok, we get it! You like Avril Lavigne! You haven't listened to a Britney Spears song! You hate mainstream stuff, but apparently, you auditioned for ANTM. Hmm....
And poor Katarzyna! I mean, she's totally getting the no-personality-edit, but is trying her best to go against it. She gave a lesson to the panel on how to pronounce her name. It's pronounced like "car-tar-jer-nah". Simple, right? Well the judges just refuse to pronounce her name correctly. She's been called "katazerna", Neutrogena, and even Kazakhstan. Poor her.
And Tyra notes, "Hey! You're talking! You have personality!"
But she spoke Italian fluently, despite looking like a child prostitute.So Tyra teaches Katarzyna on how to be coy and flirty, so she asks the girls to act coyly and flirtily. Dance, monkeys, dance!!
And Lauren doesn't do it, because she's a rebel and is currently listening to Girlfriend in her head. Rock on!
"Lauren! Sometimes, top models have to be goofy!" Yeah, if goofy involves throwing cell phones and convulsing at the scent of Vaseline.
And so Lauren pretends to be coy. I'm sure Avril would be proud!
And so Tyra thanks and dismisses Kata...
"Kata- what?" She asks flirtily and coyly...
"Whatever, darling..." Seriously, that's what she actually said. Ok, firstly I really think that's insulting to her name.
A very rare screenshot of Tyra in her natural facial expression.
So Lauren gets kicked off. Rightly so, but I cannot Dominique outlasted her! It's so unfair! I have to admit I hated her during the castings.
And immediately loved her after her makeover.
Goodbye, heroin-eyed model! Fly! Fly high against the sky! So high you almost touch the sky!
Five girls remain! Kick Dominique out, PLEASE!!!