Broken Voice

I currently have like, the worst sore throat ever. Actually had class chalet yesterday. So somehow my voice kind of changed and I sounded like Toni Braxton. And now, I totally regret talking, because now my voice is so bad!! Like, one time I sneezed and it was so weird.

And then I was like, hey! Why not buy ginger beer? I thought that it would be a good remedy but somehow it got even worse and now I sound like a bloody frog.

Ok whatever. Watch this video!! It's so friggin funny!!!!

Haha!!

"Mam, can you describe the assailant?"
"He's tall... athletic..."
"He sounds cute!"
*Victim cries*
"Pull it together, rapee!"

"I wanted Charlize Theron to play me, but there was a conflict because she's ugly, so I'm playing myself!"

I'm gonna go balik kampung on Saturday! Yay!

They Tried To Make Me Go To Rehab

I am in utter shock!!

This morning, I met one of my primary school friends in the bus. The first question he asked me was, "Kau buat drugs eh?" and I was like, WTF!!! Like, do I look like a druggie to you?! And when I said "No!", he said that I look like a drug addict. Later on after he alighted the bus, I totally thought of a comeback, like, "Well, at least I don't look like Nicole Kidman's monkey." I always think of witty stuff right after the conversation is over. Yes, he had ugly golden hair that matches hideously with his overly tanned skin. And he used to be the tallest person in class back in P6, and I'm taller than him. Ha!

Kau buat drugs eh? I will never forget that. The way he spoke in a matter-of-fact tone.

Then I got a little depressed by his comment. It was like as if he said, "But I didn't say you were a junkie, I said you were junkie-style. Go down to the docks and see what the junkies look like and then avoid it."

But whatever!

I'm being dragged by my mother to balik kampung this weekend!

Insomnia

Urgh! I feel like somebody injected me with kryptonite. Yesterday I nearly died and had to eat sweets to regain my consciousness.

Today I'm still dizzy. My throat hurts like hell and my migraine is worst as ever!

And I couldn't sleep these past few days for some reason.

I'm off to lie down and wait for death.

Knocked Up

My throat feels like death.

OH MY GOD!!! Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant!!! It's kind of awesome that practically everybody knows about this. But she's friggin 16!!! And her babydaddy looks like a total douchebag. I mean, he looks even worse than K-Fed. Anyway, I'm totally loving the news about her getting knocked up. It's like as if Jamie Lynn is jealous of all the headlines Britney's getting this year so she's like, "Fine, I'll pull off an ultimate headline this Christmas!!! MWAHAHAHA!! Come, dumb boyfriend of mine, inseminate me with your magical sperm!!!"

And she's gonna keep her baby!!! Doesn't this totally remind you of Papa Don't Preach?

And I was reading some interview and she thinks that loving babies means that she's going to be a good mother and how her babydaddy is like a "giant teddy bear", so he's gonna be a great father. I'm sorry, but I love kids too! But when they poop and wail and sometimes can annoy the hell out of you, I don't really like them for a while! Wouldn't it be awesome if like they give the baby to Angelina Jolie so that they can adopt the baby?

Spewing Rainbows Incessantly

You've got to be kidding me!

Hady won Asian Idol. I mean... really? I was reading the newspaper yesterday and they had like this heading which said something like "OUR ASIAN IDOL" and I thought that it meant like, "No matter what, you're still our idol even though another much better singer beat you fair and square" but actually it really was literal. I have this theory that people voted for their own countries and also Singapore because, well, he kind of sucks, so as to have a better chance of their country to win. Wow, that plan must have totally backfired. Eh, I don't care either way who won.

Friday!!!

I groan everytime I think about what's going to happen in Art class. I'm gonna hate that day!!!! URGH!!! Stupid Venitian mask. I feel like doing the Saw character. Just put spirals on the cheek. Ha. Ok whatever.

Listening and loving Piece Of Me. It has 1.5 million hits in just a couple of days. Wow! And the lyrics are surprisingly meaningful.

I’m Miss American Dream since I was 17
Don’t matter if I step on the scene
Or sneak away to the Philippines
They still gon' put pictures of my derriere in the magazine

Piece Of Me - Britney Spears

OMG I LOVE THIS VIDEO!! SO MUCH BETTER THAN GIMME MORE!!!

And What Are You Doin', Alcoholic Bear

Anyway, watched Golden Compass with Adam and Sarah. Sham had to leave early. The movie is amazingly boring. I don't know why people are boycotting the film because of its atheism undertone. Honestly, they should boycott the film because it's so lousy. I didn't even understand what was going on. It was like, Star Wars meets Narnia. The funny and kind of stupid part was when Nicole Kidman told the Golden Compass girl (who we were told from the start that she was an orphan) that she was actually her mother, and that her uncle (James Bond) was her father. I was like, "WHAT THE HAY-ELL!!". And there was this really cheesy scene where they were gonna kill the Golden Girl and Nicole Kidman entered the room and suddenly ran to save her and it was all in slo-mo. Seriously, no slo-mos in fantasy films. Please. And there was this bear who's an alcoholic. 'Nuff said. The ending was really stupid. They're trying to brainwash us to watch the next installment to find out what happens. Don't watch it!!

So watched season finale of ANTM 9. SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!

So I'll give a synopsis of what happens.

Final three are Jenah, Saleisha and Chantal. They have the usual Covergirl commercial. Chantal rocks it. And I kind of love her now despite the fact that she's that really really bubbly person you just feel like punching their face to see how they'll react to something so horrible. Saleisha is ugly as hell in the commercial because she looks really emaciated. Jenah kind of sucks at first but was kind of cute in the end. But the judges kind of hate Jenah because the memo says that Saleisha's gonna win so they had to kick her out because her photos are awesome, so they gave her a hard time at panel. Tyra said that Jenah was making fun of Covergirl ala Jael. Then Jenah says that she doesn't have to be "spewing rainbows" to be a role model. That is totally true. She's everything Saleisha and Chantal aren't. Then Tyra goes to Oprah mode and wonders if it's because she's been hurt before and so Jenah cries because she's been through some tough times and Tyra's all like, "See, see, see!!!!! I KNEW IT!!! I KNEW THAT SOMETHING WAS GOING ON ABOUT YOU!!!! REMEMBER THAT TIME AT THE GREAT WALL AND YOU WANTED TO LOOK OVER THE WALL TO FIND THE REAL JENAH?!!! WELL, YOU FOUND IT!!!! AND IT'S BECAUSE I HELPED YOU LIFT YOU UP!!!!! IT'S ME, TYRA BANKS!!!! BECAUSE I'M A GREAT TALK SHOW HOST!!! REALLY!!!!! PS: NAOMI CAMPBELL SUXXX!!!!"

So in the end Jenah and Saleisha are in the bottom two and Jenah gets kicked out even though "Tyra helped her found herself". And, really? I mean, she just cried and broke down a bit. But then Tyra actually said something that is the truth. She said that Jenah has the best photos that can compete among the supermodels. Then they kicked her because once again, the memo mentioned that the winner must be black. Read: Saleisha.

Runway show. Chantal's train caused a person on stilts to fall. She kind of lost focus. Honestly, Saleisha rocked the runway despite her ugly hair. She wins. The whole world groans. Totally felt bad for Chantal because she's like, crying throughout the episode and in the interviews and keeps on saying that it's her destiny.

Overall, it's been a great season in the beginning, but then they were keeping the lousy girls (Bianca and Saleisha). So here's a summary on what I hated about ANTM 9:

10 Things I Hate About ANTM 9

10. No Smoking Rule
Tyra obviously wanted the smokers to go crazy while they're cold turkey-ing.

9. Nigel And His Biased Penis
Stupid Nigel was the photographer during one of the photoshoots and mentioned that Saleisha looks like a Chinese empress. That is an insult to all empresses in China. That girl looked like Dora The Explorer in a cheongsam.

8. Lisa's Downfall
I really liked her in the beginning (she was the Alicia Keys-lookalike "exotic dancer") but then they made her hair like a poodle, then they bashed her for no reason, then they kicked her for no reason.

7. Girls Teasing Heather
Mainly Bianca and Saleisha were teasing Heather. It was so frustrating!!!! And really, Tyra sucks because she praised Saleisha for being a good role-model and bashed Jenah even though Jenah wasn't teasing her. Urgh!!

6. Judges Breaking Ebony's Spirit
Oh Ebony. The American Beauty girl who wanted to kill her dad. Tyra hated her because she didn't want to pursue on and didn't want to go further than a girl who wanted it more than her. Stupid Tyra. And they were making fun of her throughout the competition.

5. Eliminating Heather During The Go-See Episode
I totally called for it during the first episode. And they did it! ANTM is a joke, but somehow I love it to death. Poor Heather. She only went to one go-see and spent the entire time walking around.

4. Bianca
Bianca, you are a mean person. You are not a bitch, but you are a mean person. She wasn't entertaining nor did she take great photos. At least Jade took great photos. You are not fit to shine her shoes.

3. Ugly Makeovers
This season was filled with ugly makeover. They shaved Bianca's hair off and she totally looked horrible. Jenah's ugly weave that had the colour of "pee-on-snow" and had the texture of dried straw. And the worst is Saleisha's. It's by far the worst makeover in history. She looked a thousand times better before the makeover.

2. Jenah's "Epiphany"
This was the finale epiphany about how Typrah Winbanks managed to open up who Jenah is because, once you cry, your shell is opened up. It's really stupid, really.

1. The Winner
Yucks! Second worst winner! Naima was the worst. Firstly, Saleisha didn't have a single photo that really powed me. The only great shot was her rock-climbing and Great Wall shot. The rest sucked eggs and made her look like a child prostitute or a grown-up trying to act like a little kid. On the contrary, Jenah's photos were amazing!!! When they were having the loser's montage on her, all the shots were really amazing except for her finale shot, because she looked horrible. The first Covergirl shot was really great.

Twiggy's leaving!!! Let's hope Janice returns!!!

My December

Holy crap!! It's so freaky that it's already December. My elder brother's going to Tekong right after he finishes his third year (in Feb). Yay! I can rejoice!! Honestly, he lives like a pig and doesn't throw anything away from his room. He doesn't do any chores and also, he acts all self-righteous in front of me whenever something happens. Urgh!

So anyway, term tests this week. I'm done with Cell Bio, Maths, B. Microbiology and CSAS. So it's only Human Physiology and Immunology. Yay! I'm so glad that I did so wonderfully for Maths. All the questions were quite tricky, and everyone was like, "Crap, that was so hard!" and so I had to go along with them.

I'm gonna repeat this again and confess that Ugly Betty is so amazing!! Seriously, it's good television when one of your storylines is extracting sperm from a dead guy so that you can impregnate yourself.

Ok I have to go study!!!

Tomorrow will be the end of my misery! Yay!

Grammy Nominations

RECORD OF THE YEAR
Irreplaceable - Beyonce
The Pretender - Foo Fighters
Rehab - Amy Winehouse
Umbrella - Rihanna ft. Jay-Z
What Goes Around... - Justin Timberlake

I only heard The Pretender once only and thought it wasn't that great. Totally hoping either Rehab or Umbrella wins. At least Say It Right or Teardrops On My Guitar or No One should have been nominated.

SONG OF THE YEAR
Before He Cheats - Carrie Underwood
Hey There Delilah - Plain White T's
Like A Star - Corrine Bailey Rae
Rehab - Amy Winehouse
Umbrella - Rihanna ft. Jay-Z

Hoping Before He Cheats wins. Once again, Say It Right should have been nominated!! And why is Umbrella nominated? Song Of The Year is supposed to be about the lyrics.

ALBUM OF THE YEAR
Back To Black - Amy Winehouse
Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace - Foo Fighters
Graduation - Kanye West
River: The Joni Letters - Herbie Hancock
These Days - Vince Gill

Urgh! Don't know who's Herbie Hancock or Vince Gill. I'd only be happy if Amy Winehouse wins it. Maybe even Kanye West.

BEST NEW ARTIST
Amy Winehouse
Feist
Ledisi
Paramore
Taylor Swift

Totally hoping Taylor Swift wins. Or Paramore. Or Feist.

Wow Amy Winehouse is nominated for all the major nominations.

So anyway, Jaslene won. Woop de doo! She still looks like a man to me.

ANTM 9 SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!

So anyway, the final four are Chantal, Bianca, Jenah and Saleisha. They had to do shopping for a runway challenge in Beijing. So when they were shopping, Bianca told Jenah that there was a good place across the street, which was a total lie and apparently, Jenah believed her so she was lost for a while. Seriously, kind of stupid. Anyway, Jenah is homesick and stressed up. Anyway, they had a photoshoot at the Great Wall of China and Tyra was there as the photographer. Apparently, she learnt new things! Yi, Yer, San!!! She would say that right before taking a photo, so it's really really annoying. So after the photoshoot, Tyra congregated the girls together to have a group photo.

During eliminations, I was so friggin terrified that Jenah might go home because she told panel that she was homesick and Tyra's all like, "YOU HAVE THE WEAKNESS!!! YOU MUST BE BANISHED FROM MY KINGDOM RIGHT AWAY!!!!" but her picture rocked. Well, everybody's picture rocked except for Bianca because she sucks as a model and as a human being. Then they showed the group photo to test who really stands out. It's really unfair because Saleisha is placed smack in the center of the photo and Chantal and Bianca are right at the corner while Jenah is at the bottom. OMG I fell in love with Chantal once I saw her in the group shot. Nigel liked it too, in a perved kind of way. He said and I quote (kinda), "How come you can look at Tyra like that and not me." Did you know he's a father and a husband!! What a biased ass!!

So in the end, the final two were Jenah and Bianca. I was so scared Bianca might get the photo, but then Jenah was given the photo. Yay! The bitch is gone. Firstly, she was the bitch that was mean, and not at all funny/entertaining. Seriously, like Jade or Monique.


So I'll give my two cents on the final three.

SALEISHA
It's sad to say that I think that she might win the whole thing. Firstly, race is a factor in the competition. The latest black girl who won was Danielle, and that was a long time ago. So she might win just because she's black. Firstly, all her pictures SUCK!!!! They're just mediocre but the judges pretend to be wowed by them for no apparent reason. Secondly, her hairstyle totally sucks. Apparently, if you put a bowl on your head and cut your fringe, you'll have an edgy look. Yucks! Plus, she was kind of bullying Heather throughout the season. Ass!

CHANTAL
Actually, she was my pick from the start. So, yay, me! Anyway, the only problem I have with her, also, is her makeover. She has those straight bangs. Ok I don't really know how to describe them, but they cover up her eyes!!! And her eyes are so nice for some reason! It's very "heroin chic". If Jenah doesn't win, hope she wins!!

JENAH
My freakin' favourite!!! Her photos are so good!!! Like the photo where she posed as "moss" and the rock climbing shoot. But she's been in the bottom two for two weeks in a row, so she might go home third place. Once again, only problem is her ugly straw-coloured rat-nest weave Tyra gave her. Sometimes it's just so freaking disgusting!!

Ok I'm totally doing this to avoid studying. I KNOW IT!

Nothing Fails

Term tests are next week!

Urgh!! If hatred were measured in a cup, my hatred for Art would be like, spilling all over the floor! Do you know what we have to do for our Art assignment next term? We're supposed to do like, face masks. And I don't mean those masquerade masks. I mean like, a full face mask, like those really scary Venitian face masks that give you nightmares. Sounds OK, right? Well, here's the catch. We're supposed to bring like, towels and buckets and tissue and of course, Vaseline/face cream. Apparently, we have to use our faces as moulds and decorate them ourselves. Yes, we are going to put plaster on our faces!!! Like, are they trying to kill us or what?!! And we're supposed to smear like a whole tubful of Vaseline/face cream on our faces so that our skins won't react badly to the plaster and so that our eyebrows and eyelashes won't be pulled out.

BTW why the hell is everybody playing with the Rubik's Cube? How come it's suddenly being popular? It's so freaky. Well, anyway, during boring lectures, you can kind of see 15 people playing with them.

Currently listening to: Piece Of Me - Britney Spears
After I listened to this song, I suddenly fell in love with Britney Spears. Even though she's an incompetent mother and an even worse driver, what she says in the song is totally true, even though she didn't write the songs.

PS: Just finished watching Desperate Housewives. OH MY GOD!! That episode was sooooo good!!!!! Well, Wisteria Lane was hit by a tornado. Somebody died. The ending was crazy!!!! I cannot believe that the show's now on hiatus because of the strike!!! I wanna watch the next episode!!! Seriously, the whole place is a huge wreck now!

Happy Friday

Friday was oddly happy. I was happy throughout the whole day! Usually there would be somebody random who would piss me off, but nobody did today! So, yay!

Anyway, watched the latest episode of ANTM. Now there's only 4 girls left. Wow, where has the time gone? And it's bloody December!!! OMG!!! And to think that there's still school in December is so weird. Lucky JC bitches. Ok back to ANTM. This season has been kind of sucky as compared to the one on Channel 5. 4 girls are left. I totally hate 2 of them because they totally don't deserve to be in the final 4 because they totally suck!! I'm neutral with one of them. So that leaves only one left for me to root for. And she was in the bottom two. And SPOILER ALERT!!!!! I cannot believe they eliminated Heather!!! I totally knew right from the start that they're gonna eliminate her during the go-see challenge, and they did! Poor Heather!! Ok I'll say that the only girl I'm rooting for is Jenah. She got the CariDee edit because Nigel was the photographer of the week and Jenah was all like, sarcastic and unprofessional towards Nigel and Nigel's a sensitive, biased asshole who totally had the hots for another girl (Saleisha) who has like, this ugly hairdo that makes her look like that Peter Pan guy. And Tyra actually calls her edgy. And Bianca's still in the competition despite looking like a fucking clown in the Covergirl commercial. I guess Chantal is Ok, but she's like those girls who you automatically know is not the brightest bulb. Oh Jenah! Her hair actually looked normal this week.

Finally finished Notes On A Scandal which I borrowed, like at the beginning of term. It is such a boring book!!! Barbara didn't really show any lesbian crush feelings for Sheba!!!! And when Sheba found her diary, nothing dramatic happened!!! Seriously, in the movie, Sheba was all like, "You wanna fuck me on the floor, you old coot!!!" and she kind of like, slapped her and Barbara was all "No! No!" but actually in her mind she was like, "Gimme gimme MORE Gimme MORE!" Ok I'm totally renting it soon! And I was totally expecting for the scene where Barbara was like, "Come to my cat's funeral or else I'm telling on you! Don't play the good mother!" when Sheba had to go and see her son's play. Boo to the book!!!