Great. School starts in one week. I'm half excited, half groaning. My hair is like, really long and my mother told me to cut it before the school re-opens. But I feel like a rebel, so I'll cut on Tuesday. I also want to see the reaction of the new principal's face when she sees rebels like me.
My cousin's daughter isn't called Hafizah! Yay! I mean, Hafizah is such an unglam name (according to my cousin). No offence to all the Hafizahs in the world. My brother tricked me. I'm such a gullible fool. My family has a reputation of naming babies with sophisticated and unique names, like Elysia, Izz, or Nazihah. Haha! Yes, that's the name of the new baby, Nazihah. Like, as in, hail Hitler + laugh. Went to see her yesterday and she looks like any other baby. She was sleeping like a baby (duh!) when we came. Apparently, my cousin gave birth to the baby via caesarian birth. Like, cut up the tummy to get the baby. My mother gave caesarian births to all three of us brothers, so they were discussing the pain of being a woman. My cousin said that it really hurts when she coughs after the operation. Thank god I'm not a pregnant woman. No wonder the birth rate is declining. My cousin's husband gave a blow-by-blow account on what happened during the birth. I was about to faint, seriously.
After that, my whole family wanted to go eat this weird dish called Ayam Penyet. Direct translation is actually flat chicken. Went to Changi and that was the first time my whole family stepped foot in Changi Village. Seriously, it's so near to our house and we haven't even been there. Shame on us. BTW we passed Changi Prison on the way. Changi Prison is really near to my house. A sociopath could just climb up the huge fence, run up to my house and stab me 154 times. Well, I was kind of expecting a lot of drag queens, but we met my late uncle's adopted daughter whose now with her real parents. She looks so different. My cousin didn't know who she was. I didn't too. Blah blah blah, after that, we sat next to this guy who was really really depressed. He looked like he was about to kill himself and he was drinking beer. About every 10 minutes, this waitress who's older than my mother came to him and poured beer from the bottle to his mug. Then, when the bottle is empty, she would get another bottle for him. Haha! I live neer Hooters. The food was OK. It's really really near my house. I think my house is nearer to Changi Beach than it is nearer to Tampines.
Now everybody in my family (i.e. my family, my cousins, my aunties, my uncles, etc.) kind of hate my cousin and his mother. Ok, here's the thing. My cousin (Sec 1 next year) got in Damai Secondary, which is the same school as my other cousin. My Sec 1 cousin's mother asked my other cousin if Damai Secondary has the subject "Arab Language". Hahaha! Funny! It's because my Sec 1 cousin is a religious teacher-wannabe. He likes singing songs about the islamic alphabet and the islamic months. I mean, who the hell sings that during their free time? And during Hari Raya when we all gathered at my uncle's house, I was looking at a photo album of my uncle and his wife when they went to Mekkah. Suddenly, he was over my shoulder and he was like, "I've been there done that! And he was bragging about how enlightening his journey was to Mekkah!" Ya, I'll go when I'm fully matured, unlike him. And when he got back from Mekkah, he keeps on wearing a songkok. My mother told me that my cousin's mother is going to send him to school everyday. My mother said that he's going to be the laughing stock of the whole school, which is kind of true.
BTW I think my culinary skills have increased dramatically. I tried to do something different and unique during lunch, so I decided to put cheese on my murtabak and fry it. It turned out to be delicious. I'm going to try to put hotdogs inside the murtabak next time.