ANTM Recap: Tragedy = Fierce!

Previously, on ANTM: Hannah sucked eggs and was sent home after the runway challenge and will now look out for any Russians wandering around her house whenever she wakes up. Isis also sucked eggs and was sent home to work at a salon and meet an Irishman who will experience The Crying Game.

This week's challenge was so stupid as hell. It was about making baggy outfits fit by putting stuff inside it or clipping by the back to make it work for a photoshoot. Like, are they serious? And it's so weird because I kind of did this for Hari Raya (which was before this episode aired) because my pants were huge.

Anyway, Marjorie started to annoy me with her nervousness and her "negativity". And she cries in front of Paulina.

And Paulina explains that in Europe, everybody is negative. Are they serious? I mean, I've watched Life Is Beautiful. I don't buy it. I mean, I kind of believe that most Russians and former Soviet people are angry and not the nicest people, but French people? What?

Back at home, it's the people vs. Marjorie. I have to admit this season's storyline is kind of lame. Bring back Isis and have a nude photoshoot!!

This week's photoshoot was also lame. They were supposed to portray natural disasters.

So I'm supposed to think that the blackout that I had this afternoon was an act of God?

Poor Lauren Brie. Still no confessionals. Her editing is worse than Nicole C3's! Seriously. I feel sorry for her. You know she's at home thinking "Hey! They told me I have good photos, so obviously, I'm gonna be featured a lot!" And then she invited like, her grandmother and relatives from overseas to have a party and watch ANTM, but then the grandmother's like, "Where the fuck were you?"

Maybe she had a stroke mid-season?

Maybe the stroke was an act of God because He caught her spooning with the devil!

I have to admit, I have lost 99% of my love for Sheena. She's now becoming like Lauren Brie - no confessionals. And the thing is that the only thing that's saving her was her personality. And she looks like Eva Longoria... Parker... in Desperate Housewives... Season 5.

Anyway, Clark's gone, which was a surprise, because I thought that Joslyn and Marjorie were for sure gonna end up in the bottom two. I guess now that Isis is gone, there's no one else to spew acid on, so now she is of no use to ratings. The funny thing is that both her and Isis were wearing tiaras during their final confession. I guess tiaras are made to distract people from the wearer's masculine features.

Goodbye, man version of Rachel Griffiths. Didn't really like you, and you were kind of a boring bitch. So anyway, 8 girls remain! Can you believe it! Where has the time passed? And also, doesn't Marjorie look like a monkey? A hemaphrodite monkey, to be exact.