building a mystery: ANTM Recap: Quasimodo = Fierce!

Previously, on ANTM: Lauren Brie looked like a stroke victim. Elina is still pretty. Clark went home and nobody cared.

So the show starts with Elina telling us that she was from Ukraine and that her mother was a control freak. I, on the other hand, hope Elina wins because she actually is pretty in the unique way. Seriously, this girl is georgous.

Hey! Lauren Brie has a confessional! Lauren Brie talks about how the judges want to see more of her personality. And at that exact moment, I think, "Holy crap! She's a goner!"

Work that cerebral infarction!

Guess who uses Photoshop?

Anyway, this week involves Tyra coaching the girls to find their signature poses. I know, sounds really informative, right? Well... not really.

And this! Marjorie is really scary. I mean, does she have osteoporosis or something?

I now hate Sheena. She doesn't take any good photos and come to think of it, she doesn't really have any modelling potential. At all.

This week's photoshoot is the dumbest thing ever. Honestly, Tyra's ego has struck again. It involves the girls being in an award's ceremony, The Fiercees, which was shown on the Tyra Banks Show. And by some stroke of luck, I got to watch it. It is supposedly an annual thing. Like, really? And I actually switched the channel halfway because it was so bad. It was dumb and stupid because they had categories like "Worst Makeover Meltdown" and "Craziest Phone Call". Like, no Best Photo or Best Walk?

Give it up already.

Read: No modelling potential. Honestly, if she wins I'm gonna throw up!

Hey! This photo isn't so bad, right? I dunno, the judges just lambasted her.

So you think, Lauren Brie is definitely getting it. Until you realize that this is ANTM and not in actual fact a modelling competition. Thus, that old hag gets a photo.