OH MY GOD I'm going insane! You can't imagine how insane I was last night. Ok, so my house is really messy and everything's everywhere. People in the house don't bother to throw away junk (the NDP handphone torch is still beside the telephone). I couldn't throw away stuff because I was scared that someone needed them. So last night at around 10, I had this major blowout and cleared the table in front of the TV which was full of brochures, vouchers and letters and totally went nuts and threw the unwanted things away and neated things up. Then I went to the dining table because that evening, my mother went to NTUC and didn't pack her things up, so there were food items still inside plastic bags and I was unpacking the food items. Then, my mother came along and somehow screamed at me. Well, I forgot what she said, but I remembered saying back, "You can't scold me for cleaning the house!"
I mean, that was crazy. Literally, that was nuts! Then after I cooled down a bit and finished with my manic cleaning, my mother said something that I forgot and I said, "You shouted at me, so you scolded me lah!" then she said, "What's wrong with you?" then I said, "Fine lah! I'm crazy!" I hope she realises that that may be true and that I'm not joking.
Urgh! To think that I made fun of the girls who cried when Paul was gone. Couldn't sleep for an hour last night, so I just lied on my bed for an hour and thought about stuff. Sigh. My life is so messed up. I'm on the verge of losing my mind. Of course my friends wouldn't notice me. I have learnt to hide my feelings. I wish there was somebody who would ask me, "Hey, everything all right?" and I tell them, "No" and tell them all about my troubles.
Excuse me, I think I've mistaken you for somebody else
Somebody who gave a damn, somebody more like myself
So lonely.