Hee! I watched Scary Movie 4 last night while everybody was watching the England vs Paraguay match. It's so friggin hillarious! They kind of merged War of the Worlds, Ju-On, The Village, Saw and Million Dollar Baby. Hee hee! Well let me tell you the whole story, because I know you can't watch it in the cinemas! I think it's M-18. Oooh! I wanna watch the other Scary Movies!
[SPOILER]
Anyway, Shaquille O'Neil and this psychologist called Dr Phil (which my mother says used to be on Oprah) appear in a bathroom in chains and Jigsaw (the guy from Saw) appears on TV and tells Shaquille to throw a rock into the hoop, so that they can get saws so that they can cut through the chains and escape because poison would be released in 2 minutes. He does, after accidentally hitting the rock on Dr Phil and then, they get their saws. But then they realise that they have to cut through their feet. Dr Phil does and he dies. Opening credits.
Ok, this is where the movie starts. Cindy Campbell (spoofing Sarah Michelle Gellar) goes to live in this cursed house to take care of this old woman just like in The Grudge and sees the Toshio boy. Then, this guy called Tom Ryan (spoofing Tom Cruise) moves in next door to the cursed house with his daughter and son. Then, Tom falls in love with Cindy, but Cindy told him that she used to be married. But then her husband died when she was participating in a boxing match and her husband falls and cracks his neck while trying to save her from dying. Then, more people die by cracking their necks. Then, aliens attack the town and Tom gets into a car with his children.
Anyway, Cindy goes back into the house but sees Toshio and he says that he knows how to stop the aliens. This is the funniest part because Toshio and Cindy speak in Japanese but then when they speak in Japanese, they say words like 'Fujitsu' and 'Toshiba'! Haha! But there's subtitles. Anyway, Toshio tells Cindy to find his father to ask who's the killer. Toshio shows a Yahoo! Maps map to Cindy in blood. Heehee!
Then, Cindy meets her friend (which I forgot the name, so let's call her Mary). They steal a car and they follow the map. Then, they get to the village from The Village. But then it's really old-fashioned and they try to beat up two female villagers in the bush. Haha! In the end the villagers came out victorious! Haha! But then Cindy and Mary find clothes that are left to dry. Then, Cindy asks Toshio's father what happened to Toshio, so Toshio's dad tells her that he died during a boxing match. Then, Cindy remembers that some fat guy fell on Toshio. She realises that she's the killer. But then the aliens abduct Cindy, Mary, Tom and his kids into the bathroom. Tom has to hold on to a rope or else his kids would die. But then, Mary makes a deal with Jigsaw by having sex with him and then, they leave Earth. In the end, Mary gets pregnant and gives birth to a baby with a Jigsaw face.
The last part is the MOST MOST MOST FUNNIEST!!! It's like, I died of laughter. They made fun of Tom Cruise going crazy on Oprah. Hee!