BICYCLE! BICYCLE!

I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike!

OMG remember that song? When I was young I thought it was the funniest song I've ever heard.

So speaking of which, I decided that if I really want to take up a motor license, I should master the poor man's version of it. So I pushed my bike all the way to the bike shop and there were so many mat basikals there, and they had puny scrawny bicycles that are all rusty and stuff and I have one big ass mountain bike, which my elder brother bought in Perth. All the mat basikals were like, "Wah! Lawarnya!" He doesn't need it anymore anyway, so I had to change the bloody rubber tubing and the tires. So after that I did a test ride and discovered that my brakes didn't work and nearly crashed into a pillar like Alexis Meade. So had to change the stupid brakes. I haven't rode a bike for over a year because my bike is breaking apart, seat's coming off and stuff.

So anyway! Urgh! I hate getting older! Some people don't give you any money! It's not as if I have a full time job anyway!

Today I went to the unknown lands of Sembawang. There were a lot of amputees there for some reason. Seriously!

OMG Sham's blog is causing a commotion! Her tagboard is like a warzone or something.

My new timetable sucks rotten eggs! There's this one day where I have like, 4 hours of lessons but they are in 2 hour intervals! So there's like, a 4 hour interval! Ok whatever.

I am in love with Ugly Betty! It's the second best show on TV right now, right after ANTM. It's so funny! There was this funny scene, because Amanda is Faye's daughter, so she's trying to grab some attention from the press. So at a red carpet event, she goes to Marc and suggests that she pee on the red carpet to get some attention, and Marc replied, "Oh honey, Courtney Love already did that before you arrived." Haha! OMG and SPOILER ALERT!!!!! Don't read further on if you don't wanna be spoiled!!!!! Posh Spice is going to become one of Wilhelmina's bridesmaids! That's so cool!

Eid

Wow! It's been a week! That's so crazy!

Ok before I start, the Gimme More video was shown on MTV and honestly, Britney? Is that the best you can do? I mean, looking back at her career, she really didn't have a great voice, did she? All she was good at was dancing and now it's gone. Seriously! The video was so weird and disturbing because at the beginning there were three women (one was Britney) and she was wearing a blonde wig and all three were watching stripper Britney in a black wig doing a strip act. Then I realised that it's supposed to be some lesbian stripclub or something. I bet it was all her idea!

I bet she was all like, "Hey, like, guys! I have an, like, idea! Why don't you guys bring your cameras to my workplace and let's just do a home video! Okays?!"

And so they did and they filmed her doing her day job and earning money at the same time. Throw in some visual effects that people use in those amateur video editing software and presto! A music video!

So Hari Raya wasn't so bad actually. Followed my parents everywhere they went, because we are living in a material world, and I am a material boy. Ok I just wanted to save some money for a rainy day, which will obviously never happen because I am just a bloody teenager.

So anyway, during the visits, I totally discovered some crazy stuff about me! Yes!

My parents never told me that my great-grandmother aka my dad's dad's mum is Chinese. I think she's Hokkien or something. Well, my aunt told me that. That's so weird. Then again, I didn't know my grandfather because I think he divorced with my grandmother and died before I was born.

Oh and my grandaunt said that my grandmother would've had 8 children, but 4 of them passed away when they were very young, ranging from 1 day to 7 years old. Wow! That's totally sad. Totally felt bad for my grandma.

Then my mother just happened to have a megaphone and decided to announce something really important. When she was pregnant with me, the gynae told her that it's a girl, so both my parents were excited because they already had two boys and they're already sick of penises. So when I was born, here's what roughly happened:

Note: I don't know the name of my gynae, so let's just call him McDreamy.

McDreamy: Oh! Push harder!
Me: Waah! Waah! Waah!
McDreamy: Awww! Look, Meredith! She looks so adorable! Hey, Meredith, so sorry I hooked up with you on the day before we realised that we were gonna be working together.
That fat black woman: Hey, you incompetent boob! Get back to work! You can make out with her during your lunch break!
Me: Waah!
McDreamy: Oh! It's a boy! So sorry about that! Doctors do make mistakes! Just ask Meredith!
My dear mother: DAMMIT!

Thanks for the inspirational story, mum! Maybe she should send the story to the Chicken Soup For The Pregnant Mother's Soul. And the whole time, my mother was saying this like as if it's an anecdote she tells everybody, including the nonya yang jual sayur kat pasar. I smiled nervously. But I'd bet that my parents grew fond of me as time went by, right? Right? Right?

Ok, I'm off! I'm so swamped.

Placebo

Wow! It's been a long time! So I can't wait for Saturday to be over and done with. Urgh!

Bleargh! Ok whatever. Let's see what's happening!

Well, I went on a really weird SBS bus. The seats were arranged like the MRT seats where the seats face the sides. Then there was this fake bar counter and an actual stool! And there's a picture of a woman in an F&N uniform pouring a glass of orange juice. Ok what am I talking about?

My eldest brother has gangrene. Ok I'm exaggerating. He just has some fungal infection from wearing boots in the rain and not taking it off and stuff. He doesn't even get MC! The only privilege he gets is that he gets to wear sandals. And he's limping. Wow! They really do take care of you! Can't wait!!! Athlete's feet, here I come! Anyway, I had to serve him and get his important stuff for him from the bedroom (i.e. handphone, cigarettes, ashtray, etc.). Then he said "Thank you" and I'm like, "Finally!". It's like serving that Frida woman.

I'm not eating anything for sahur.

My baju kurung is too big for me and it's only sized S. Another reason why this year's Hari Raya is gonna suck.

All the M&M cookies that were made today are now destroyed! They now look like a teenager's face at the climax of puberty.

Nearly ate a sultana. I'm like, "WHAT THE HAY-ELL!"

The shop near my house is now under new management. No more bimbo shopkeepers who try to manipulate you into paying an extra 10 cents for a plastic bag, claiming it's the law now. Yes, that stupid bitch did that to me, saying something about Live Earth. But the new shop sucks eggs. They calculate the total amount by using calculators and all their foods are either in Chinese or Thai. WTH?! No Malay?! Their Skittles are in Chinese characters and I was worried that I might get, I dunno, hepatitis through the foods. I've heard of such cases. And the creamers are all in Thai so I don't even know if they're evaporated milk or condensed milk or whatever. Urgh!

I am currently addicted to F&N Green Apple. It's a limited edition flavour. They should replace the Zappel with that Green Apple. It's so bloody delicious. Ok what am I talking about?

Currently listening to:
Teardrops On My Guitar - Taylor Swift
Good Life - Kanye West ft. T-Pain
Nothin' Better To Do - LeAnn Rimes
Taking Chances - Celine Dion

One Week

Wow! Hari Raya in a week! That's kind of crazy.

Stupid high metabolism! I only spent the whole of Friday afternoon baking cookies and I was already exhausted. I mean, exhausted in a "didn't-sleep-all-night" kind of way.

OMG have you seen Britney Spears' new official Gimme More video?! It's so pathetic! All she does in the video is dance around a pole and dropping it like it's not hot. It's kind of hard to find on YouTube because of copyright crap.

Taped ANTM 8. Watched the last part of Tab TV. It was about exorcism I think and the first scene I saw was this woman in bed and the "healer" telling her that he has to implant his amulet (aka magical semen) inside her to drive the spirit away. Eww!! And then the stupid woman was oblivious that she just got raped. So that night she had nightmares and her husband asked her what was wrong, and the woman told him everything, and the husband just said, "Jasmine," in a disappointed tone. WTH?! No "YOU HAD SEX????!!!!!!"?

Can't believe Felicia's gone!! I really actually wanted Dionne to go. But I loved her "WHAT THE HAYELL?!!" quote during the laser challenge.

Oh and watched the latest season of ANTM. That Bianca woman was being a bitch once again. Seriously, if you wanna be a bitch, be a bitch and have some modelling talent! Like Jade. Urgh! And all Bianca did was make arguments with the other girls. Urgh! And she's like, "Heather's good, but I have to stop her before she gets there [laughs nervously]". I hate that bitch. At least other bitches from other cycles were entertaining, like Camille or Jade or Monique. Sigh.

And I have to say ANTM is getting better and better!! Well, the girls had to do a couture runway for a budding fashion designer and the winner will be going to Paris to do runway for her. Then for the photoshoot, they had to wear couture gowns while rock climbing! Yay!

Jenah. She's the one who reminded me of The Fairly Oddparents, then I realised she looks like that boy in pink. Loved her photo!

Heather. The mildly autistic girl. Love her photo! Glad that the other girls are not bitching about her.

Hate That I Love You - Rihanna ft. Ne-Yo

Hari Raya's gonna suck! Both my baju kurungs suck ass for some reason. Ugh!

Now You Know

Watched season premiere of Despo Housewives! Yay! And seriously, I was a bit pissed off from the cliffhanger from the Season 3 finale.

Yay! ANTM tomorrow!

Sick last night. Ok now. Keep on waking up at around noon. Stone for about an hour. I didn't realise that I was watching Hi-5. Then watched Oprah. Vanessa Williams (aka Wilhelmina from Ugly Betty) was on with her mother, if that's her real name. Seriously, her mother looks like her sister! I wiki-ed her and found out that she's only 44. Really? She kind of looks 50 because she looks heavily botoxed. And her mother looks like she's about 55.

Next Sunday!

Spontaniouse

Ugh! Was sick during the weekend.

Finally watched The Office. It was so funny!!! Well, Michael's ex-boss died in a car accident so they all had a grief counselling session. Michael asked everyone to name somebody they know who died and how they died. So I'll just give the dialogue.

Dwight: When my mother was pregnant with me, she did an ultrasound scan and found that she was pregnant with twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, the found out that I had resorbed the other fetus. Do I regret that? No. I believe his tissues have made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.

Pam: I had an aunt. She was this amazing female boxer. She was injured in a fight and was paralysed. So I was devastated when I found out that she had asked her coach to remove her breathing tube so she could die.

Ryan: A few years ago, my family was in a safari in Africa. And my cousin, Mufasa, was trampled to death in a stampede.
Michael: Do you wanna talk about it?
Ryan: Nah, it would probably take an hour and a half for me to talk about that.

Hahaha! Mufasa!

First episode of Heroes 2 was boring for some reason. Was Heroes boring in the first place?

OMG watched the season premiere of Ugly Betty! All I can say is "WOW!" OMG so many plotlines! What I like about the show is that you kind of like everybody, including the villains like Wilhelmina and Amanda.

Tyra Single-Handedly Saves Planet Earth While Looking FIERCE!

So I have finished watching the second episode of ANTM 9, which is the episode where they kick the first girl out, so technically it's the first episode. And I must admit, ANTM is seriously getting better and better! Thank you, Tyra! Oh what would we do without you and your amazing show! So anyway, I'll do a little recap of what happened.

So the 13 lucky bitches meet Jay Manuel who introduces them to their new mode of transport, which is like a mini-bus run by 100% bio-diesel. And Jay Manuel explains that Tyra is really concerned with the environment so Top Model is going green! So the insides of the mini-bus is pimped out with all things recyclable, like grass for example. And one of the girls said that the seats look like recycled tires. Wow! So we can add 'environmentalist' to Tyra's ever-expanding resume!

Tyra Banks: Supermodel, Actress, Reality-Show Host, Singer, Talk-Show Host, Counselor, Humanitarian, Environmentalist.

She's like a modern version of Mother Theresa who teaches young girls everywhere how to tuck your bootee out but make it fashion.

Oh Tyra! Naomi Campbell is seething with jealousy at your remarkable beauty!

So on with the show! They are brought to their new house which is practically decorated with plants. They might get dengue! For their first photoshoot, I seriously thought that they would have to like, pose as pollutants and the effects of pollution or something! Like, I imagined a girl posing as an oil-covered seagull on the beach and another would pose as acid-rain or something. But actually their photoshoot was about smoking and the consequences of it. So the picture involves the girl being glamorous in front of the mirror smoking and then they go re-do their make-up so that they can pose as the mirror-image which portrays all the things that actually happen to you. It's kind of cool and practically all the girls did really well! Oh and during panel, Tyra announced that since young girls everywhere are watching, the girls will be acting as role models, so she banned smoking. I think she just wants drama.

SPOILER ALERT



So there were a few sub-plots that happened. One was a Bianca vs. Lisa catfight which really came out of nowhere. Ok, so Lisa is an exotic dancer but she's not a stripper!!! She has a top on, a bikini. She keeps saying that which makes me wonder if she wears bottoms! During castings, Bianca thinks that she's the fun bitch. So at first, I thought that Bianca was supposed to be the good person and Lisa the villain, but it was the other way around. When they were being made up, Bianca kept on taunting Lisa and asking her if she's going to do well and stuff. And Lisa's like, whatever bitch. Bianca interviews that she thinks Lisa isn't her competition because she's a stripper, and the winner can't be a stripper. Then why do you keep friggin messing with her! Ugh! Bianca's just jealous. So Bianca goes first and sucks. She tells Lisa that she did well just to intimidate her. Lisa does amazing! Seriously! Then when the girls were hanging out, Bianca verbally attacks Lisa about the whole stripper thing and Lisa was cursing at Bianca and they had to have other girls stand as a barrier. Then back at home, Lisa apologized to Bianca and Bianca also said sorry. She interviews that she only said sorry because she didn't want it to come around to panel and Tyra. Umm... she's watching the interviews you stupid ho! Oh and next week, it's Bianca vs. Saleisha.

Oh and there's also this girl called Heather. She's the pale looking one. She looks and sounds like C4's Michelle. And she has a mild form of autism called Asperger's Syndrome, which makes her awkward during social situations. It's not like as if she runs around crazily trying to overturn all the dustbins, it's just that she doesn't really talk to the other girls, which makes me really sad for her. So some of the girls, especially Kimberly, bitches about how creepy she is and stuff. They say that her face is gorgeous but then with the disability, she can't be a model, which is totally true but you obviously have to keep it to yourself or you'll look like an asshole. And when Heather called her mother, her mother told her to be nice to the other girls. Mom, it's the other way around!

Then there's another storyline. It's called "Tyra hates Victoria". So Victoria (one of my favourites) is a Yale student. During panel, she was nervous and quiet, and Twiggy tells her that she needs to get over her insecurity, but Victoria interjects politely and says that she's not insecure, she's just quiet. And Tyra just pounds her like the jackal she is and says that she needs to be nicer! Gosh! Tyra hates people who are smarter than she is. And when Nigel says that Victoria's photo is the best of the bunch, Tyra's all "Victoria's photo sucks! I don't see the je ne sais quoi!" Ugh! Shut up and stop being so biased!

And I love this season because I practically have 8 favourites! Yay! So here's the girls from most favourite to least favourite!

VICTORIA

Totally love her photo! And she looks like Shandi for some reason! Yay! And she was really nice too. When the girls were bitching about Heather, she interviews that she hates the girls who bitch about them!

LISA

In the promotional photograph, she looks so dowdy, but OMG she's so pretty!!! I LOVE HER and don't care if she's a stripper. She kind of looks like Alicia Keys.


SALEISHA

She went to Tyra's T-Zone camp and has the self-esteem of Tyra Banks! Congrats to her! And she looks like Tyra in her "after" shot! Hahaha!


HEATHER

She's so endearing! During castings, she said, "Hey pretty lady, and Tyra." Hahaha! And Tyra's like, "That's Ok! Autism results to poor vision, right?" No, autism results to blunt realistic comments, Tyra. And she has her stuffed monkey which is kind of cute. I like her, but I hope Tyra eliminates her before the go-see episode. You know Tyra's going to eliminate her during the go-see episode.

JANET

I don't really know if she looks like a 12-year-old boy or not. Well, she has the body of a man. But she seems nice and not bitchy at all.

JENAH

She reminds me of the Fairly OddParents for some bizarre reason. And she's the only known smoker. She looked shocked when Tyra announced the banning of cigarettes. You know she's going to smoke in the bathroom!

CHANTAL

She seems kind of meh. But I like her.

SARAH

She seems pretty, but she's too thin to be plus-size and too fat to be skinny.


AMBREAL

They call this fierce?! I don't know! Not my fav to win!

MILA

She got eliminated. Thank God! She says that she's a happy person and celebrates everything from birthdays to new nail colours! Go and celebrate your departure then. And she finds crying a waste of time. She didn't cry. You just want to punch her. And she finds her chemotherapy hair funny and calls it bozo clowny. What an idiot!

EBONY

She's like Eva. Bitchy at castings. Tyra the psychiatrist breaks down Ebony because she's been walked over all her life so she becomes quiet and shy. Still hate her.


KIMBERLY

Looks like the girl from Little Miss Sunshine. Ha! She sucks! She bitched about Heather.

BIANCA

Ugh! Hate her! She doesn't seem to have that thing people have in the middle of their upper lip, you know?

No One - Alicia Keys

I love this song!

Notes On A Scandal

Watched Notes On A Scandal last night. It is everything Little Children wishes it was. But it kind of has mature themes, I think. The only mature thing was that it was about a woman who has an affair with a 15-year-old boy who looks like he's 20. There weren't any love scenes! Oh and it's a British movie.

So since I love the movie so much, here's a recap! I was reading the reviews at the back of the DVD cover and what they said about it is totally true. It has lust, greed, anger, jealousy, guilt and betrayal. Well, it's about this old lonely spinster, Barbara (played by Judi Dench), who is a strict teacher nobody likes. So there's this new Art teacher called Sheba (played by Cate Blanchett) and they become friends. So the narrator is Barbara who narrates what she actually writes in her diary. So Barbara is kind of fixated with Sheba and they become friends. Sheba invites Barbara to her house for lunch and she meets Sheba's family and notes that she deserves a better family blah blah blah because her husband is old as hell and she has a son who's Down Syndrome.

Then during the school assembly, Barbara couldn't find Sheba so she goes to her room to find her. She peeks into the window and finds Sheba making out with one of the students. So the next day Babs calls Sheba to confront her about the student. Seriously, Barbara is a bitchy old coot who just manipulates people! I love it! So Sheba tells her that the student is good in art and he was seeking for extra lessons and he has a crush on her and she has a crush on him but she drew the line. Then the student started following her around and she gave in to her temptations. Sheba promises to end the affair because she'll get arrested.

So everything is fine and all except for the fact that Sheba didn't end the affair like what Barbara advised her. So when Babs comes to her house she sees the young perv and he was calling her handphone and Babs realised that the affair was still on. She's disappointed and leaves the house. So that night, Barbara finds that her cat is sick and goes to the vet the next day, and the vet tells her that the cat needs to be put down. She tells him to hold on and goes to Sheba's house to accompany her to the vet. But then Sheba's about to leave her house to go to her Down Syndrome son's school play and can't follow her. And so Barbara is mad as hell and like coldly tells her that she has to suffer the consequences.

So that night, one of the teachers went to Barbara's house to confide in her. He tells her that he has a crush on Sheba and wants her to tell her. But then Barbara tells him that she likes younger boys and tells him that there's a rumour going on that she's having an affair with a student. So the next day, the boy's mother goes to Sheba's house and seriously attacks her and calls her "bitch" and "slut" and like slaps her head. It's so realistic! That's why I like these movies! So anyway the next day the whole school knows and both Sheba and Barbara were fired. So this goes to the press and they surround Sheba's house. Sheba and husband fight so Sheba moves in with Barbara.

And then.... we realise that Barbara is a sick old coot who longs for touching Sheba's thighs when she's asleep! Seriously! So when Barbara leaves for the groceries and Sheba's left on her own in Babs' house, she finds lots of gold stars, like the ones you stick onto their students' homework. She suspects something and rummages through the house and finds Barbara's diary. She goes through the diary and finds out that Barbara is a freaking lesbo, I think! Well, she keeps Sheba's hair in her diary, as well as receipts and stuff. And Sheba finds out that there used to be another young lady who moved somewhere else and filed a restraining order against Barbara because she's just a creepy woman. So when Barbara returns, Sheba goes absolute batshit crazy and slaps her old face and continues to go crazy.

So in the end Barbara goes to the park she usually hangs out with Sheba and finds another young lady. So they befriend each other. Hope she gets a good attorney.

I totally love the movie! Rent it! Watch it! And Judi Dench should have won Best Actress instead of Helen Mirren. And Cate Blanchett seriously should have won Best Supporting Actress instead of Jennifer Hudson.

Just A Random Post

I am now playing Sims 2. Sims 2 is like a game where I realise is kind of stupid and stop playing it for a while, then when I try playing it again, it's kind of exciting. I am now trying to make the ugliest Sim from the most good-looking ancestors. I mean that I make my good-looking Sim and make her mate with the ugliest people on the streets. Then their kids mate with other strangers to make even uglier kids! Yes I know, that is mean. I should have made a guy, because when I saw that Sandy Bruty, all I can think of was how ugly their kids would be! Ok that was mean too. But seriously! The creators of that game keep on making NPCs that are ugly! The only pretty ones are Dagmar the postwoman and Kaylynn the maid. All the men are not good-looking, especially the burglars. I'll post pictures of the offspring.

Oh BTW, I forgot to mention that the Miss Teen USA girl was on the VMA's and she did something which I thought would have been seemingly impossible! She humiliated herself further! Instead of speaking coherently so that others can comprehend her, she mocked herself and said random things like, "Pakistan Iran help the education such as and so as to develop South Africa". She said something like that. I was too shocked.

Songs I Am Listening To
1. The Way I Are - Timbaland ft. Keri Hilson
2. No One - Alicia Keys
3. Bed - J. Holiday
4. Don't Stop The Music - Rihanna
5. Drivin' Me Wild - Common ft. Lily Allen
6. With Every Heartbeat - Robyn
7. Do It Well - Jennifer Lopez
8. Sober - Kelly Clarkson
9. Gimme More - Britney Spears
10. So Small - Carrie Underwood
11. Big Girls Don't Cry - Fergie
12. Tears Dry On Their Own - Amy Winehouse

Nightmare In Pasir Ris

Ok this morning, I had the most scariest dream EVER!!!! I dunno, it seemed so real! It's kind of like that movie Nightmare on Elm Street where the guy can go into people's dreams and kill them in their dreams so that they die in real life! It was so bloody scary! Ok, so it's all a blur, but I remember there was this monster-like creature with green skin and it had the face of those demonic Hindu statues. I dunno, it had like, pointy horns as a mustache. Then it was doing some ritual and was coming closer to me and all of a sudden I was lying like as if I was lying on a bed and it pressed its fingers on my neck like as if it's checking my pulse and I could feel my heart beating faster. I don't know how, but I said a prayer and opened my eyes and I seriously thought I saw something in my room for a quick second! And then I woke up and was terrified as hell!

I finally got to watch the VMA's today. And must I say, Britney Spears has gone so downhill it would be a miracle for her comeback. She's a joke! Watched her performance and I realised that she was wearing knee-length hooker boots! She looks more like a stripper. And Rihanna was laughing. I don't blame her. And then Sarah Silverman noted that she's only 25. Wow! Only 25 and already a has-been. Umbrella won Monster Single and Video of the Year. Yay! Fergie won Best Female (Yay!) and Justin Timberlake won Best Male. That yucky group Gym Class Heroes won Best New Artist! I was like, WTF?! Amy Winehouse should've won. And then Beyonce and Shakire won Best Collaboration. 50 Cent and Kanye West were the presenters and Shakira wasn't present so Beyonce came on stage and she kissed Kanye West and wanted to kiss 50 Cent but he was blur as hell and didn't notice Beyonce and was looking sideways and Beyonce felt kind of awkward. What an asshole.

I need to remind myself to tap my EZ-Link when I leave the bus! I always forget to do that! Urgh! It's a bad habit because I have used Concession ever since the EZ-Link was used. And I usually don't tap unless I want to find out the amount in my EZ-Link.

Bed - J. Holiday

I am in love with this song! It's kind of like a male rendition of Ciara's Promise.

The doors are now painted brown. I don't know if it looks good or not.

Watched Million Dollar Baby during one of the days. You know how Scary Movie 4 parodied the movie and made it funny? I seriously did not expect the real thing to happen to Hilary Swank! The opponent punched her, she fell on a stool, broke her neck and was paralysed from neck down. I seriously thought that she was going to win the championship or something. Then it was really sad after that. She wanted to die because there's no point living and she's seen the world. But the coach doesn't want to kill her, so she decides to bite her tongue. Then they stich her up and she bit off the stitches. Then eventually the coach gave in to her wishes and switches off the respiratory system thingy.

The Hours is also another amazing movie. It's about three different women in three different eras. Nicole Kidman lives in the 1920s and is a suicidal author. Julianne Moore lives in the 1950s and is a stay-at-home mother of a 3-year-old boy and is also pregnant. Meryl Streep lives in the current era. And all that happens takes place in a day. The only similar thing is that all the women are suicidal. It's like those movies that makes you think. Well, in the beginning, you think that the book Nicole Kidman wrote was being portrayed by Meryl Streep, and that Meryl Streep is fictional, but then Meryl Streep is taking care of this poet suffering from AIDS and he was holding a picture of his mother and it appears to be Julianne Moore. And Julianne Moore was actually reading the book. And the guy suffering from AIDS actually released a fictional book based on his life. In it he mentioned that his mother died. So when they showed Julianne Moore's timeline, you think that she's going to kill herself. Nicole Kidman mentioned that somebody in the story had to die. So in Meryl Streep's timeline, you expect Meryl Streep to kill herself because she's depressed because she puts on this confident facade. But in actual fact, the AIDS poet killed himself because he was only alive to satisfy Meryl Streep. So she's really sad and cancels a party she planned for the poet because he won a prize. Then somebody knocks on the door and Julianne Moore shows up, saying that she actually abandoned his children after she gave birth. Then in Nicole Kidman's timeline, she puts rocks inside her pocket and walks into a river and dies. It is AMAZING!

The Coup

A. NTM Wah! So Samantha's gone. Good for her. And thank goodness she's gone instead of Natasha. At first I thought that it was just an excuse to pry open the "Natasha is a mail-order" subplot. And why does Tyra look like Jack Sparrow's crackwhore hooker?

Watched The Office yesterday! OMG it was so hilarious (even though I've watched it already). Because Dwight secretly went to see Jan (who works for Corporate) to overthrow Michael and didn't tell Michael. Instead he told him that he was going to the dentist and he keeps on elaborating on his lies and tells him that he needs a crown put in and it's another dentist. Then Michael receives a call from Jan about her conversation with Dwight and is upset. So when Dwight comes back, Michael offers Dwight M&Ms and he eats it. Then Michael says, "Aren't you supposed to not eat after you put your crown in?" and Dwight replies, "It's some quick bonding treatment," and Michael asks, "What's the name of your dentist?" and Dwight replies, "Mr. ... Crentist," and Michael says, "That sounds a lot like dentist..." and Dwight replies, "Well, maybe that's why he became a dentist." Hahaha!

Watched the latest season of ANTM on Youtube this morning. And must I say, lucky bitches. For the audition rounds, they actually got to go to the Carribbean! And then they got to stay at a cruiseship! The girls are the same ol', same ol'. There's bitches. There's girls with disabilities. There's girls with troubled pasts. There was this girl who was molested and raped by her family members but was reluctant to say it. But Tyra was like, "What did they do to you? Cmon! You can tell us! You can tell the whole of America! But since ANTM is being broadcasted around the world like Australia, China and Germany where my friend Heidi Klum hosts Germany's Next Top Model, you can tell the whole world!" Urgh! Then she did the most fakest Jamaican accent.

Little Children Sucks!

I couldn't think of any post title. Anyway, ever since puasa started I have been sleeping a lot! I usually wake up at around 11 or 12. Usually I am an early riser but I would snooze from 9 to about 11. Urgh!

So anyway, have been renting movies and watching one a night. Two nights ago, watched Little Children. It stars Kate Winslet. I thought that it would be a great movie because she was nominated for Best Actress. But OH MY GAWD!!! It was one of the most boring movies I have ever seen! It's like those movies with very very little dialog and lots of action, boring action. So the story goes like this. Kate Winslet has an affair with a stay-at-home dad whom she meets at the public swimming pool. Both are married and have a kid. So they manipulate their kids to befriend each other so that they can make love during their naptime. The guy realises that Kate Winslet loves him more than his wife does, so he decides to elope with her. And that does not work out. The end. See! That was so bloody boring! I should have rented Babel or The Hours.

Then last night watched Erin Brockovich. I thought I might have watched it somewhere but that was a long time ago. It is such a nice show. Love it!

I had a really weird dream last night. I dreamt that I was on The Price Is Right and I was playing Plinko, the game where you have to drop a disc into this vertical plane and it drops in different slots. And since I was watching Friends the previous day, there was Phoebe and Joey on the platform with me. Then Chandler and Monica came out of nowhere. Then before Ross and Rachel could come, I woke up.

The Office Deleted Scenes! They're so funny! Because the office found out that one of the employees was gay so this is what Dwight said:

Dwight: On the farm, we had a bull that was only interested in other bulls, and we did not discriminate. We slaughtered that bull not because it was a homosexual but because it was bothering the other bulls.

Hahaha!

PS: Kanye West's Graduation crushed 50 Cent's crappy album Curtis. The album is worth his name. Goodbye, you crappy asshole.

Emmys!

Boo! All the nominations that I wanted to win were flushed down the toilet! Oh and they totally made fun of Vanessa Hudgens. Because there was this blogger and Ryan Seacrest was interviewing him and he was supposed to be updating now and then and he caught him looking at Vanessa Hudgens! Hahaha! And Christina Aguilera performed with Tony Bennett, which makes you think that Britney's career is over. Well, here's the winners.

The Boston Legal guy won Best Actor in Drama. Don't really care.

Locke from Lost won Best Supporting Actor in Drama. Don't really care.

The British Office version of Steve Carell won Best Actor in Comedy! And I was totally hoping Steve Carell would win! To which I say "BOO!"

Some guy from Entourage won Best Supporting Actor in Comedy! I seriously thought that it would go to Dwight!! Seriously, Dwight rocks!

The drunken mother won Best Actress in Drama. And when you thought that the actress was playing as a drunk mother, she's the drunk one! When the dramatic music came in, she was like, "SHUT UP! I need to speak!" and kept on rambling.

America Ferrera won Best Actress in Comedy for Ugly Betty. Well, I'm happy that she won, but I was horrified that Felicity Huffman didn't win!!! I mean, she won it because she became ugly, right?

Katherine Heigl won Best Supporting Actress in Drama. Don't watch the show, so don't care.

The slutty blonde wife from My Name Is Earl won Best Supporting Actress in Comedy. Eh. I was hoping that either Pam from Office or Vanessa Williams would win.

Then Tony Bennett won a lot of Emmys for some bizzare reason.

Sopranos won Best Drama. Thought that Heroes should have won because that was the only show I watched among the nominations. Thought that Grey's Anatomy would win because it's supposed to be good with professional doctors and interns who have casual promiscuous sex during their lunch breaks.

30 Rock won Best Comedy!!!!! I was totally shocked because I thought that The Office is a much more polished, well-acted, and well-improvised version of 30 Rock!!!! The only thing that was amusing about 30 Rock is that dumb blonde woman and how they usually break the fourth wall!!! I was hoping that The Office would win and everybody would go on stage including Dwight and Angela and Kelly. Sigh. But I was expecting Ugly Betty to win for some reason.

Amazing Race won Best Reality Show. Urgh! I hate that show! It sucks now! Can't ANTM be at least nominated?? Project Runway was nominated even though it's been on hiatus for about a year already.

Whatever. The only thing The Office won was Best Scriptwriting. But no matter, I will always love you, The Office! You're the funniest and freshest show ever! Your episodes are as funnier and entertaining as the previous one! I tape your show and watch it everyday and it doesn't get old! I pick up small jokes that I didn't the previous time I watch it! I love The Office!

Bittersweet memories
That is all I'm taking with me
So goodbye please don't cry
We both know Best Comedy is not what you need

1,000 Songs

PS: I found out that I have 1,000 songs in my iPod!

I cannot believe that I have the song "Physical" by Olivia Newton-John. It's the song that goes, "Let's get physical! Physical! Let's get physical! Let's get physical!" But I think that it actually means, "Let's have sex! Sex! Let's have sex! Let's have sex!"

Family Affair

Stupid motherfucker!! Well, it's already past maghrib and am allowed to curse without bataling my puasa. I'm expressing my anger! So back to the subject. This stupid old fucker was staring at me in the bus throughout the journey!!! He's not really old, he's just middle-aged. And he's not retarded or blind! Well, he's mentally sick in his mind! So he was at the same bus stop I was in and I saw him staring at me. At first I was like, "Ok, freaky person..." then the bus came and it was quite empty. And who came sitting right in front of me? Yes, that idiot!! And he made it seem like as if he's not staring at me. He pretends to see things from the window and when the bus passes it he would look behind and I caught him staring at me!!!! I was so terrified to move because he might sit next to me or something! Then he was looking at me when he alighted and I felt totally dirty and used, like as if I was molested or something. Then I thought to myself, "I hope he goes to Geylang and hire a dumpy lesbian butch prostitute."

So on to the positive! Well, not really. Anyway, my brother bought the 50 Cent album "Curtis" and when I saw it, I said, "What is that doing in my house?" Ugh! Yucks! I hate 50 Cent! I hate his song AYO Technology! I hate how all his videos contain half-naked strippers! I hate how he's like, "Yo! Everybody around me sucks!" And I read somewhere that Kanye West and 50 Cent are feuding because they're releasing albums on the same date and 50 Cent commented that Kanye West sucks and all. And then he said that if Kanye West outsells him, he's going to retire from the music industry. Then he immediately withdrew the statement. What an asshole.

Anyway, my second brother has passed his motor test. So I am the only one in the family that is not allowed to operate a vehicle. I don't know if I want a motor or car license, or both. I am so scared that I might be a bad driver and crash like Lindsay Lohan or something. Seriously! When I play GTA, I would accidentally crash into idiot drivers who turn from the wrong lane and I would also usually kill a couple of pedestrians. And I'm scared to ride a motor. Even though it's like a bicycle, I'm so scared that I might topple over and the hot metal exhaust might press on me and I would die of third-degree burns. And I'm scared that the motor might suddenly explode for some unknown reason.

Anyway, my mother was talking to me about how life was like 20 years ago. And she told me about my relatives and stuff. And all I have to say is that if somebody were to make a movie out of that, they would win an Oscar for Best Original Screenplay. Seriously, it makes those scriptwriters who write those crappy Indonesian dramas lower their heads in shame. It's all really crazy actually! Well, before I was born, my parents lived with my dad's mother, twin siblings and my dad's mum's sister (aka my grandaunt). So in summary, my grandma didn't like my mum at all. She would talk about my mum on the phone and when my mum came back from work, she would "kelang-kabut". My grandma didn't really like my brothers! Yes I know! Shocker! She wouldn't take care of my brothers so they were sent to be taken after by an upstairs neighbour. My grandma would kind of bitch about my mother to one of my neighbours who would tell the upstairs neighbour who would tell my mum. And wow! My mother really got it bad! Then when everybody (as in the relatives) moved out, my grandaunt was badmouthing my parents and stuff happened between my dad and his cousins that resulted to catastrophic explosions!

And then my mother said something that opened my eyes. She said that grandparents are supposed to pamper their grandchildren since they were young until their old and my mother said that she only grew fond of us when we were going through the teenager years. Yeah, way to make us love you during the period when we're all filled with hatred towards every single living organism in this world. I realised no wonder I prefered my maternal grandma than my paternal grandma. Well, my maternal grandma has already passed and I cried like a crazy psycho. I don't know if I'll cry.

Well, there's still drama going on with my relatives. Urgh! It's actually really really tiring actually! And it's really stupid because they pretend to like one another. If you need a reference, it's kind of like the relationship between Raymond's mum and Raymond's wife in Everybody Loves Raymond. Everytime I watch that show, I feel like as if one of my relatives is sending scripts to that show.

Do It Well - Jennifer Lopez

You know before you go to sleep at night, you think of random stuff. So I was thinking about the movie Monster and all of a sudden it got me totally depressed. That movie's like a dementor or something. Seriously, if you wanna get depressed over nothing, watch that movie! And I don't know why I get sad whenever I think of it. Maybe because it's a true story, and she was sentenced to death because she had killed the person that raped her, and other clients. Maybe it's because she confessed to the murders on the phone to her lesbian lover and the cops were tapping into their conversation and her lesbian lover had to testify against her! Then I tossed and turned and couldn't sleep!

Thank God I don't have school during the fasting month. I would have totally died!

Shows returning in America:
ANTM 9: 19 September
Heroes 2: 24 September
Ugly Betty 2: 27 September
Desperate Housewives 4: 30 September

Boo!!! Sucks!! Anyway, I wanna know if the people who were dying during the last episode die or survive!!!! But I think that Edie will survive because she was in the promotional poster. So yay!! Either that or she might become a voice-over and bitch-slap Mary Alice. And the promotional poster looks like an ad for Burger King. Go search it on Wikipedia.

So I watched ANTM yesterday. Goodbye to you, Kathleen. You're too dumb to be a model! And you might not know this but I LOVE NATASHA!!!!!! She might be a little dumb like Kathleen, but she's endearing. Kathleen's the dumb kind that you laugh because she's dumb. Kind of like Jade. And the funniest quote was "I think every model wants to date Nigel, because he's so tall!" Hahahah!! And because the Tyra Mail said "A woman's trash is another woman's treasure", Kathleen literally said, "I think that what we have to do is put on crap, not literally, but put on something that people throw away!" Thanks for the lesson, Kathleen! I really thought that you have to rub your face with poop. Fierce! And the fur monologue was the epitome of dumbness! Especially the "because animals die like people die too, right?" Hahaha!!! No! Animals live forever and once they have lived for 100 years they become unicorns.

And what was up with the PG rating for mature themes? What was so mature about political views?

And The Office is so hilarious!!!!

My Heart Bleeds For Charlize Theron

Watched two movies yesterday. Lost in Translation and Monster.

Lost in Translation was extremely boring. Don't know why I even bothered to rent it.

Monster was amazingly amazing! Seriously, go watch it! It stars Charlize Theron as a dumpy ugly lesbian butch prostitute who murders her clients and goes on this rampage. I totally cried at the end because her performance was so raw and phenomenal! And that is why she won an Oscar for Best Actress. Seriously, the bus stop scene where she was crying to her lesbian lover Christina Ricci was so sad.

After watching Monster I was too depressed to do anything. Well, now I'm not anymore, but it's so sad!

Travelling Thru

I finally got hold of Transamerica. It's kind of weird actually, especially Felicity Huffman in her man-voice. But it's such a sad movie and I love it! It's about this transexual man to woman called Bree who's about to invert her penis when she receives a call from her son and her therapist tells him to settle things with her son before she can undergo the final surgery. So she flies to New York to get him. And apparently, he's making money by working as a gay prostitute. And not surprisingly, he has an uncanny resemblance to Zac Efron. So Bree tells him that she's a missionary. They go on a road trip to LA because that's where Bree's surgery takes place and also her son is there to pursue the film industry. And when I mean film industry, I mean that he wants to be a porn star. Then when Bree stops the truck to pee behind the truck, her son looks out the rear view mirror and finds out that she has a penis! He feels betrayed but eventually he tells her that she's not a freak, she's just a liar.

Then they go to Bree's parents' house. Then her mother touches her crotch and says, "Oh good, you're still a boy!" and then Bree grabs her mother's hand and puts it on her breast. That's kind of sad and funny. Then Bree tells them that the boy is her son but can't tell him that, so they pamper him and offers him to stay at their house. He thinks about it and realises that he has feelings for Bree and he goes to her room and actually kisses her and wants to have sex with her!! Ok... eww... Then Bree eventually tells him that she's his father. So he's really angry because he had fantasies about how great his father would be and actually punches her and runs away. It's all really sad.

So man-voiced Bree goes for surgery and is finally a woman. She cries to her therapist and it's really really really sad!! And it actually seems real because when she was bawling like crazy saliva was hanging from her mouth! So realistic! So a couple of months later (I think) he goes to Bree's house and they reconcile and the son shows her the advert to the porn movie he stars in and tells her that she can get a discount. Eww!!! Ok, I hope Bree doesn't watch it. So they live happily ever after!!

Don't Gimme Anymore

Holy crap! The long awaited comeback of Britney Spears at the VMA's is a total disappointment! I heard that he was supposed to perform with that Mindfreak Criss Angel or something. And maybe they would have Kevin Federline on stage and transform it into a snake or something. I didn't even see him. All I got was a fat woman wearing what appears to be her underwear and lip-syncing and not even dancing! All she did was a shimmy and she wrapped her legs around a stranger!

Britney, you kind of suck now! I'm sorry, but remember last time when during one of the Grammys, Britney and Christina Aguilera were competing for Best New Artist and Christina won. I was shocked because I thought Britney was way better than that skinny bitch. Then I realised, "Wow! X-tina is so much better!" And her ex-colleagues X-tina and Justin Timberlake are all maturing and she's still the same old Britney. Marrying some loser. Shaving your head. The umbrella incident.

High School Musical 2

I have watched both Little Miss Sunshine and Silence Of The Lambs twice already, and I quote from Tyra, "So What?!"

Anyway, after watching two great movies 24 hours before HSM2, HSM2 kind of sucks. To be honest, I didn't really see the greatness in the first movie. Yeah it's nice and all but the problem was that everything was too happy! Die, somebody!

So anyway, Vanessa Hudgens kinds of sucks! She totally does not have any personality! It was like, Vanessa who? Oh the one that took nude pictures of herself! Ya, I know! Go read the New Paper on Saturday! Ashley Tisdale totally outshone her. Occasionally I wanted to sepak Zac Efron's face because according to his acting coach, "sad and depressed" means "pouting your whole face and look like you're gonna cry".

The funniest quote was when Zac confronted Vanessa and Sharpay's brother (I think his name was Ryan). It goes like this -

Zac Efron: Hey, Ryan, why you hanging out with my girl? She took the nude photos for me!
Vanessa "Slutgens": Well, since you are with Sharpay, I might as well take on another guy! Hey, I take nude photos in my room! I'm like, totally, like, becoming, like Lindsay like Lohan!
Ryan: Yeah! Point for me! Anyway, I went over to her house yesterday and we ate her mother's brownies! They're good!
Zac Efron: Well I've tasted them [does his signature face-pout]

Hahaha!!!! Well, it kind of went like that. I was laughing at the "brownies" sexual innuendo!

The greatest scene was the part where Zac Efron sang "Bet On It"! It was so fucking hilarious! Sarah, Sham and I were laughing like crazy! It was the most flamboyant and gayest thing ever!!! So the song's kind of like, "I have to try to get Vanessa Hudgens because Sharpay's brother is taking nude photos of her! I wanna get hold of the camera! I must do so by dancing and vogueing around the golf course!" He does like this tai-chi thingy at the start on the green and he spins around and it kind of reminded me of Michael Jackson, except 10,000 times more gayer! Then all of a sudden, he's going up this rocky terrain then he jumps down on this patch of sand and takes some of the sand and pours it with jazz hands and it kind of reminded me of the Don't Tell Me Madonna video, except 10,000 times more gayer! Then he goes up to the camera with SUCH INTENSITY in his eyes!!! And he pounds on his chest for extra emphasis! Then all of a sudden, he's on the golf course! Then he sashays around for a couple of good seconds and all of a sudden, he gets a club and takes a swing on a golf ball and it kind of reminded me of Tiger Woods, except 10,000 times more gayer! Then the ball hits the pond (I thought he's supposed to be pro at golf?) and he goes and gets it but then he sees his reflection (Caz) and the Caz tells him "You fucking moron! Ryan and Vanessa are smooching somewhere and you haven't even kissed your girlfriend! You are so gay!!!!" and it kind of reminded me of Niki from Heroes, except 10,000 times more gayer! Then he runs alongside the pond jumping around and stuff! Amazingly hilarious!!!!

Ok I watched it again and again on YouTube and it never gets tiring!

Movies!!

Rented 3 movies yesterday; Little Miss Sunshine, The Silence Of The Lambs and Clueless.

I didn't realise that Little Miss Sunshine was quite a vulgar movie. The grandpa was saying the F word throughout the journey. And OMG there was one scene that was so sad! The girl's brother had taken a silence vow and wouldn't speak until he gets enlisted for the Air Force. So he doesn't say anything for 9 months. So when they stopped by the hospital, the girl picked up this "DIY eye vision test" and she tests on her brother. So when she tests him on his colour-blindness, he couldn't see the letter in the circle. So he goes apeshit in the van and they had to pull over and he runs out and screams "FUCK!!!!!!" OMG it was so sad!

Then watched Silence Of The Lambs. I'm not gonna lie, it's the scariest movie I've ever seen! It was like CSI except it's 10 times more gory, disturbing, scary and surprising! So there was this serial killer called Buffalo Bill who skins his victims (all female) and puts some moth inside the throat of them and dumps them. So Jodie Foster, an FBI trainee, is sent on a mission to find Buffalo Bill. So she was told to go see this guy in prison called Hannibal Lector because he's just like Buffalo Bill. So she goes up to him and he's like, really freaky. There was this one scene which was totally disturbing! So it was dinner time and two policemen had to go inside his cell and put his food inside. So they had to handcuff him to the jail bars before they entered. But then, the Hannibal guy had some lockpick inside his mouth and freed himself. Then he handcuffed one of the guys and kind of bit off the other guy's face! Then when more police came, they found one of them being suspended on the jail bars with his guts being emptied! Eww! Oh and the other one that was bitten in the face was still alive but bloody and they took him to a hospital via an ambulance! So Hannibal was on the loose and they finally found him on top of the lift and is dead. What they don't know is that that was the other policeman whose face was bitten off and is dressed in Hannibal's clothes! Hannibal was inside the ambulance and he had worn the policeman's clothes and he put on the policeman's face over his!! It was so fucking scary!!!

Then there was another scene where the FBI found the location of Buffalo Bill. So the SWAT team comes in and surrounds a house. Then at the same time, Jodie Foster is running around bullet-vestless and approaching people's houses without a partner and asking them questions. At the same time, there's this scene where Buffalo Bill has to answer the door because his basement is where he keeps his victims. So when you thought that the FBI was going to get Buffalo Bill, you're wrong, because he opens the door and there's Jodie Foster all vulnerable! Then when the SWAT team goes inside the house, it's the wrong house! And I was like, HOLY CRAP!! Watch out!! It totally reminded of that Saw movie. So Buffalo Bill asks Jodie to come in and I was like, "NO! He's EVIL!!" But then she sees a moth fluttering by and realises that that's Buffalo Bill and tells him to freeze! But he runs into the basement and OMG that scene was the scariest scene EVER!!! Buffalo Bill switches off the light and Jodie is left all scared in the dark but Bill has night-vision goggles and HE'S RIGHT BEHIND HER!!!! So she still stumbles around for a minute and Bill pulls the trigger and Jodie turns around and shoots him! It was so scary!!!

And apparently, Buffalo Bill is a transvestite who abducts fat girls and starves them so that their skin is flabby and he skins them so that he can make a woman's outfit for himself!! Eww!!!

Then watched Clueless. It's an old movie starring Alicia Silverstone when she was a teenager. It's so funny in a bimbo kind of way!! It's kind of like Mean Girls, without the mean.

Mushroom Swiss

Why is Burger King so bloody delicious! I could eat Mushroom Swiss everyday for the rest of my life!

Am totally in love with the song Sober by Kelly Clarkson. It's 10,000 times better than Never Again!!

ANTM in half an hour!! Squealing with anticipation!! Natasha!! Yay!!!

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

Urgh! I just feel so exhausted and crappy!!!!

Dull the pain!

Ok on a lighter note!, was watching the What The Buck videos which are hilarious and he was talking about how that lonelygirl15 girl died, and I thought I'd check it out. Well, since she's the most famous person on YouTube, I thought that it would be good but OMG I was watching the first five videos of it and they are so BORING!!! I never thought that it would be that boring!! The girl just sits there and whispers random stuff! "Oh my parents don't like me!" Big deal! And she does everything in her room! She juices lemons and makes lemonade on her bed in her room, she bakes cookies on the floor in her room (totally sanitary!) and she's in some weird religion that she doesn't tell! Oh I am dying of anticipation on what her next video's about!

Anyway, Gimme More chorus sounds like a Kylie Minogue song for some reason.

ANTM!! Tomorrow!!! Natasha!!! Yay!!!

Still haven't watched any of the movies!

I forgot what I wanted to say!

Gimme More

Oh mah word! I heard Britney's new song called Gimme More (Youtube it) and I have to admit, it's actually kind of nice. I was thinking about how nice the song was until this image of a bald angry woman attacking a car with an umbrella came into my head. Even though the song is nice, the album name won't be that nice. I mean, imagine:

Song: Gimme More
Artist: Britney Spears
Album: OMG Is Lindsay Lohan Like Okay Like

Anyway, I killed a snail last night!! OMG I was so saddened and it was snailslaughter. It was smack in the middle of the path and I didn't look and I heard a crunching noise and realised that I stepped on a snail! I was so depressed for some reason! And the weird thing is that I wasn't depressed over the fact that my flip-flops had a bit of slime. Hey, I have a heart!

After that watched Brothers & Sisters! It's kind of good. Okay, maybe it sucks a little because there's nothing left on TV, except ANTM (WOOT!!). Anyway, the main storyline was that Druggie was called back by the army to go back to the Iraq (perhaps to give away maps to civilians and to educate them of the location of USA) and Druggie doesn't want to go because he's seen enough! So he plans to escape to Mexico with a fake passport. Also, Druggie's back on drugs and his family found that he OD-ed at his apartment. And somehow this show is becoming like Lost. Lots of flashbacks! So apparently, Ally McBeal was in NYC when Sept. 11 happened and really, I totally didn't get what actually happened! Was she in the twin towers? Was she like, having breakfast at some bistro when it happened? Was she in the plane that crashed into the towers? Did she have a near-death experience? Seriously! She kept on rambling on about how she saw her grandparents or something and the flight attendant told her to buckle up or something and she was walking along the pathway and everybody was in ashes. I dunno! So apparently, Druggie wanted to enlist to the army in the first place because he didn't want anything else happen to Ally McBeal and/or the rest of the family!

And then there was another storyline where the family business is in major debt and Dead Dad had a secret account that needed a password to crack. So if they cracked the code, they would be able to save their asses, but they hired a forensic accountants to try to crack codes with names and favourite colours and pet names! Guess what the password was? The intials of the childrens (including the bastard child Rebecca)!! Ok, firstly, I thought that passwords were encouraged to be like, initials and combinations of numbers and letters?! Even I could have thought of that!

Oh and no Gay's storyline. Only got a minute of it, which was totally choppy! And I cannot believe we're missing out on this when Stepmother's (who was previously known as "My-Daughter-Is-Diabetic") stepson said "fag"! How dare they not show us the storyline!

Oh and Heroes is coming on Channel 5 in November! It's just too little too late!

RIP: Snail

Movies I Wanna Watch (Some, Again) During The Holidays

In random order:

• Titanic
• Silence Of The Lambs
  
• Forrest Gump
  
• Little Miss Sunshine
  
• The Bodyguard
  
• Wizard Of Oz
• I Am Sam
• Driving Miss Daisy
• Glitter
• Ghost
• The Sixth Sense
• Scream
• Thirteen Ghosts
• The Others
• Erin Brockovich
• Moulin Rouge
• Crash
• Sliding Doors
• The Emperor's New Groove
• Psycho
• Waiting To Exhale
• A Simple Wish
  
• Transamerica

I know that some of them are impossible for me to watch, such as Transamerica! I know my cousin has it but I'm so scared to want to borrow it! He might think that I want a vagina, but in actual fact I actually want to see Felicity Huffman! OMG and when I was thinking of the movies watched when I was little, I remember watching this movie but I forgot who was in it! It was about this bus crashing out of the bridge and all the victims are dead and they're all guardians to this boy who was born at the time of their death or something. Then they all had to leave the boy because he was getting bigger and everyone thought he had imaginary friends and when the boy grew up the spirits came back to him to ask for help or something! I forgot!

Speaking of which, the Emmy Nominations are in! And I am so happy that Felicity Huffman is nominated for Best Actress in Comedy and is the only Desperate Housewife! The others are Tina Fey from 30 Rock (Yay! Love that show!) and America Ferrera for Ugly Betty (Yay!) but Felicity Huffman better win this! The other two are some other people from shows that don't air here.

I'm off to VideoEzy!

A New Day Has Come

Sunday morning. Flu. Slight fever. Sneezing non-stop. Migraine. Nausea. Woozy. On the verge of collapse. Slept. Today. Gone!

Hush, now, I see a light in the sky!

September! Wow it's so fast like hell! I'm not ready!

Oh ma gawd!! I am in love with this show called the WHATTHEBUCKSHOW! It is hilariously funny as hell!! You have to watch it to believe it! It is so funny!!! One time he was talking about how Oprah was opening a school and how she hand-picked about 1000 students. And he said, "Wouldn't it be cool if she picked the girls like Tyra?" And then he goes through this spiel and it's so bloody funny! Well, here's the video!

Glorious - Natalie Imbruglia

Here's a video. Watch it and go crazy!

I had a really weird dream last night. I dreamt that I was in the desert and there were hilltops and valleys and there was this huge tent (like a marquee) sitting on the hilltop and it was like, vertical. Then there were camels and there was like this hot air balloon show and I was with my cousins and all. It's really weird. I wanted to tell my cousins the weird logic of a tent being perfectly stable on a vertical 80 degrees (or something like that) slope but they all told me to stop saying that! That's because they know it's a dream!!! When I was young, I heard that everyone in your dreams is a ghost or spirit or something. Oh and early this week I dreamt of Human Anatomy. I was in a tutorial and the teacher asked me some question. I forgot what it was, and I only remember my reply, which was "because it's Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger!" in a techno voice. Really creepy.

I ate about a dozen chicken wings yesterday! Thank God for high metabolism!

Over

Yay! My exams are FINALLY! over. Thank God! Because I've been getting so stressed and was kind of nuts. Two nights ago I totally shouted at my brother because he was playing his yucky Malay music really loud! Not that I'm against regional music, it's just that Malay songs sound the same and all they talk about is either love or flowers. What the hell do I know? So anyway, my brother was playing loudly and I was so pissed off that I shouted like a crazy person. And OMG I AM LOUD! It was like as if the collective voices of Jennifer Hudson and Beyonce singing at the Oscars came into my pharynx/larynx/don't care what the voice box is called.

So anyway, the weather today was soooo bloody nice I decided to walk to the SAFRA bus-stop and it was so windy and nice. Then halfway through, it started to rain and now I have a huge headache!

I caught up with all my taped shows. Boo!! Where's Desperate Housewives when you need them. Watched America's Got Talent. And the title should be more of a question than a statement. America's Got Talent? Anyway, they actually gave a thumbs up to this stripper! She came out of the curtains looking like Snow White and then did burlesque moves and all of a sudden her clothes were shredded off her body! I dunno, maybe her mother told her that Snow White had to pay the dwarves by giving sexual favours. Ok, that was gross. Anyway, she interviews that she's gonna impress Brandy. Yes, if Brandy becomes a lesbian next time. Maybe next time she's gonna perform as Little Red "Riding" Ho. Ok, that was gross too!

Then there was this weird flamboyant guy wearing Victoria's Secret wings and heavy make-up and he balanced a tip of a knife with another tip of another knife protruding from his mouth. It's actually good, except that I was kind of freaked out by him because he said that he can be God for someone. Umm... Yeah...

Then there was this girl who sang And I Am Telling You and she seriously sounds like Jennifer Hudson, especially during the part when she sounds like a hippo. The British judge told her that she needed to change her hair colour because she's a redhead. What utter prejudice! I hope Prince Harry sues his ass!

Anyway, FINALLY! Brothers and Sisters is getting a little bit better, but not as good as other shows. Well, the main storyline goes like this. So the family business is going bankrupt and they're supposed to sell some of their assets and they had to sell this family ranch. So the matriarch mother (who looks really drunk all the time for some unknown reason) wants everyone to go to the ranch during the weekends for one last time. All the children lie that they are busy. Yeah, busy sneaking into the ranch (since they assume that nobody's there) and they make sweet love to their respective lovers. So eventually, everybody ends up there (including the mother). I don't even know any of their names, so I'll give them nicknames. So there's the Sterile one, the Druggie one, the Gay one, the "My-Daughter-Is-A-Diabetic" one and last but not least, there's Ally McBeal. So Sterile is angry with Druggie because he's a druggie. So Sterile goes to Gay to ask for his sperm to impregnate Mrs. Sterile and wants the baby to have the family features. But Gay doesn't want to because he says that the child would be shocked to find out his biological father. So "Diabetic-Daughter" is disappointed at Gay because they're all family. Then they all bicker and stuff at the dinner table and Drunk Mom discovers that Sterile is sterile and then Druggie finds out too and asks why Sterile didn't come to Druggie. Sterile hates Druggie and Druggie is sad. So he approaches Sterile after dinner and tells him that in the Iraq (where they don't have maps and can't locate America! How tragic!) he didn't help an enemy who was about to die. So he owes a life or something like that. So eventually, both Druggie and Gay decide to do a "Lucky Dip" where they don't know whose sperm it belongs to! Poor kid! So it's all good!

And my friend said that they actually cut a lot of things out of the TV show because of Gay and Gay's Lover kissing or something! Ok, that's kind of stupid that they actually give a "PG-Rating" due to mature themes, then they cut it! Sometimes I hate Channel 5! They cropped the scene where Janice made out with Tyra and the entire storyline of Kim and Sarah being lesbian lovers!

Currently listening to:
Sober - Kelly Clarkson

Why Do You Think Most American's Can't Locate The U.S. On The World Map?

Let's ask this pretty beauty queen, because she's such a role model for youths in America! And because America is such a developed country, she's a role model to the world! Yay!



I personally believe that US Americans are unable to do so because uh, some people out there in our nation don't have maps and I believe that our education like such as South Africa and uh, the Iraq and everywhere like such as and I believe that they should our education over here in the US should help the US, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future for our children.

Yes, my butt is still not off the computer chair. Just like Tyra, SO WHAT!!! And I have to say, this video is like, mind-bogglingly self-contradictory. Ok, firstly, you misinterpreted the question. Secondly, US should help South Africa?! Isn't it supposed to be Africa?! Thirdly, "The Iraq"?! Fourthly, "the Asian countries?" Are you dumb?! OMG we don't need your education!!! We're fine, thank you very much! I know that Abraham Lincoln is not the first President. Fifthly, "everywhere like such as and"?! Hahah!! Sixthly, "I believe that they should our education". And lastly, you poor people who don't have maps!!! How tragic! I wonder how you people get to your destinations such as like K-Mart!

I have to say, THANK GOD I LIVE IN THE ASIA, because some people like such as should she be need to be learned by greatest teachers because much like Whitney, I believe that the children are our future.

Ok, if I get stuck on one of the questions for tomorrow's Biochem test and don't know the answer, I am so going to write "I believe that the US should help the Iraq and other countries such as like for example exscetrah!"

Ok I'm not! But wouldn't it be cool?!

I Bruise Easily (ANTM 8's COMING ON CHANNEL 5!!)

Wow I haven't blog since forever!

Anyway, I have a cut under my thumbnail!!! Yes, and it's both itchy and painful! And there's actually a striation in the middle of my nail and I am so terrified it might fall apart or something! Seriously! I dunno how it got there! It's like, all of a sudden I see blood coming from the tips of my thumb! And I scraped my foot against some sharp metal thing and a whole chunk of skin is now flapping on my foot! I don't have plaster and everytime I walk past Watsons or Guardian I tend to forget about plasters. Ok what am I rambling about?

I was watching TV on Sunday and OMG!!!! You have to check out this show called Crank Yankers!!! It's like a show where people prank call other people and they reenact the scene with puppets!! It's so bloody funny!! There was one time where this guy pretended to be Jessica Simpson's assistant and called a spa for an appointment, then he told the woman on the phone to be wary because she has a penis! And HAHAHAH!!!! Then the puppet of Jessica Simpson would be trying on clothes and you could see something at the crotch area!! HAHAHAHA!!!

My papers have been fantastic! Ok, not really, they're just fine. I'm totally sick of studying!! I seriously do not know how I went through O Levels, because I'm kind of more stressed out for a semestral examination than an international exam that determines your fate in the future. Ok I'm rambling.

So I was doing my work minding my own business when all of a sudden, I HEAR NATASHA'S VOICE ON THE TELEVISION!!!! So I kind of rushed to the television and apparently, they're coming on next week or something. I dunno, I was too excited and fantasizing about Natasha on my television!! WOOT!!!! Yay!!! And I still can't believe I haven't seen Natasha on Tyra Show! Tyra you manipulating hag! You just want Natasha-holics to watch your crappy third-rate show!!

Don't cross me! I might beat you up, just like what Bjork did! What? Well, watch the video then. And all I can say is WOW!!! I'd pay to watch Bjork fighting reporters! And she looks pissed as hell!!!! WELCOME TO BANGKOK!!! Ok so Biochem is tomorrow!! And last paper on Thursday! WOOT!



PS: I'm still not studying. Boohoo! OMG I forgot to mention this totally important and traumatising event that happened today! Ok I'm exaggerating, but I got trapped in the lift for about one minute. Ya, because when the lift reached my floor, it opened, then it stopped opening. So there's like a one-inch gap. And I kind of panicked because I was so scared the lift might fall like how it did in Speed, and I tried prying the door open but because of my sore thumb I couldn't do it! And I was terrified to press the alarm button because I didn't really want to make a ruckus and have the SCDF come over and rescue me when they have better things to do like rescue cats from trees. So after like, pushing the "Door Open" button repeatedly, I just decided to push all the buttons at once and the door opened!!!! So a lesson to all out there, if you're trapped in a lift, push your palm on all the buttons and you'll be rescued!

OMG I am suddenly in love with this singer called Delta Goodrem. She's and Australian singer and that is why nobody really knows her, except for Australians! OMG I love her songs! She kind of sings while playing a piano but it's kind of ballad-pop oriented. Totally love her songs "Innocent Eyes" and "Lost Without You".

OK I'm off to eat first, then I'll get back to studying! Curse you, Citric Acid Cycle!